Marriage is such a big commitment that those who would wish to get married should not make light of it. Many people who foolishly and childishly enter into marriage without making the necessary preparations end up miserable, if not wanting to get out of the marriage covenant – and end up breaking God's heart for He does not want that to happen:
"Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning 'made them male and female,' and said, 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'? So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate." (Jesus in Matthew 19:4-6 (MEV))
Preparing For Marriage
Let's reserve the talk about healing marriages for another time. For this article, I would like to talk to the single men wanting to marry: You can spare yourself and your future wife from unnecessary hurt and pain by preparing for marriage before it ever comes.
Just like what they say, "an ounce of prevention is worth more than a pound of cure." The same is true for marriage – far better to have prepared for your marriage to have less stress and pain than to have to medicate and find ways to heal your and your wife's broken heart.
To help you prepare for marriage, here are some things you need to work on long before saying your vows.
1. Find Yourself In God
Every man who wants to marry must be first complete in the Lord. The idea of a wife as your "better half" is a lie – both of you should first find yourselves in God so that when you marry you can focus on just loving your wife, and not draining her.
Take Psalm 16:2 to heart:
"O my soul, you have said to the Lord, 'You are my Lord, my goodness is nothing apart from You.'"
2. Make Sure To Fix All Of Your Emotional Issues
In connection with the first thing, you should ensure that all your emotional baggage is dealt with before settling down with your wife (see Song of Solomon 2:15). Bringing your emotional issues in marriage will cause unnecessary friction and hurt.
If you still have unresolved issues with former relationships, please fix them and end them before marrying. If you're not yet OK with your family, do your best to work out your relationship with them before saying your vows. If you merely settle to marry because you feel that it will complete you, don't push through with it yet; find yourself in God first.
3. Prepare To Forsake All Others At The Wedding Altar
Lastly, marriage is a very sacred covenant between two people (see Genesis 2:24). Yes, just two people: you and your wife. This means forsaking all other relationships especially with close women that aren't nuclear family. There should be just one romantic relationship in your life, and that's with your wife.
Let go of all those hangouts with female friends. Put your other friends on a lower level in the priority list. Your wife will take prime spot in your list of priorities and most important relationships, higher than anybody, but next only to God.
Of course, there are many other things that men need to work on before marrying, but these three are what I consider to be the most important. More on the other things next time.
God bless you in your journey to marriage!