What submitting to your husband really means

Splitshire

Biblical submission is one of the most challenging aspects. God gives this command to wives in Ephesians 5:22 where Paul says "submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord."

Most wives have probably crushed this part of the Bible (of course, I'm joking), but nonetheless it's in there and just like any other part of the Bible, it must be obeyed. But what is the true context of "submission" used to describe how wives are supposed to submit to their husbands?

The greek word for submission used in hupotasso, which means "to put under leadership." The idea of the marriage has always been about the husband being the leader. Now before men start dancing around and celebrating, remember how Jesus radically changed the idea of leadership. He said that whoever wants to be first must be last, and that those who lead must be a servant to all.

And now before the wives start throwing nasty looks at their loving husbands, know that as husbands serve their wives, wives also need to respond in a way that honors God. These are not blind orders given to wives, but simply mere guides on how we are to respond to the grace of God manifested through marriage.

As wives continue to trust God and express gratitude for the blessing that is their leaders (whether it seems like they're doing a good job or not), here are ways that they can respond in submission to their husbands' leadership.

Respect

Hebrews 13:17 tells believers to "Obey your leaders and submit to them, for they are keeping watch over your souls, as those who will have to give an account." While this is mostly used in the context of church and government leadership, the concept of leadership does not change at home.

Wives are called to look at their husbands and their work (as called by the Lord) with respect and high regards, knowing that God is working through your husband.

Love

Just as husbands are called to love their wives as Christ loved the church, wives are also called to do the same, not because we are compelled to reciprocate this love but through the outflow of the love that wives have received from the true Bridegroom that is Jesus and being a channel of that love to their husbands.

Trust

It may not always be easy to trust husbands because they're not perfect, but wives can always choose to trust God that He means only blessing and goodness when giving the command to submit to husbands.

While these things come mostly in the context of healthy and God-centered marriages, we can also trust that God will be able to restore broken marriages through His grace and consequently the call that God has for husbands.

The key is found in Ephesians 5:21 where it says "Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ." The goal in marriage is not to please each other nor to please the self. It is to revere and honor Christ in our marriage. As we do so, everything else will just follow.