The hashtag #ThingsJesusNeverSaid was trending on Twitter this morning. Here's a roundup of some of the best:
Some poked fun at self-promotion on Twitter:
#ThingsJesusNeverSaid Can someone give me a shout out, I've only got 12 followers.
— CHIEF. (@FutbolChief) April 2, 2015 " data-caption="null" data-credit="null">Others made a pointed reference to David Cameron's latest comments on Christianity:
"Easter is all about remembering the importance of change, responsibility & doing the right thing for our children." #ThingsJesusNeverSaid
— Martin Saunders ن (@martinsaunders) April 2, 2015 " data-caption="null" data-credit="null">Many suggested we may have taken liberties with Jesus' commands:
#ThingsJesusNeverSaid Love thy neighbor, unless their Wi-Fi is password protected.
— Malav Karkar (@MalavKarkar) April 2, 2015 " data-caption="null" data-credit="null">His miracles were fair game:
#ThingsJesusNeverSaid 'I'm out of wine'
— Chris Watts (@BrutusWatts) April 2, 2015 " data-caption="null" data-credit="null">#ThingsJesusNeverSaid Good evening landlord, jug of tap water & some glasses please. *winks at Disciples*
— furiouspigeon (@furiouspigeon) April 2, 2015 " data-caption="null" data-credit="null">I got 3 fish and 4 buns. Someone isn't getting a fish sandwich. #ThingsJesusNeverSaid
— Bob Dobalina (@redbuddhadojo) April 2, 2015 " data-caption="null" data-credit="null">As was the Last Supper:
#ThingsJesusNeverSaid Is this all Gluten-free? pic.twitter.com/TEq6QKH6v2
— Todd W. Haines (@toddwhaines) April 2, 2015 " data-caption="null" data-credit="null">Why are we all sitting on the same side of the table? #ThingsJesusNeverSaid pic.twitter.com/esVy9LyCC5
— Jonathan (@Haymaker710) April 2, 2015 " data-caption="null" data-credit="null">But most were just completely ridiculous:
"you can't tell me what to do, Joseph. stop acting like you're my real dad." #ThingsJesusNeverSaid
— Graham Nilles (@NotGrahamNilles) April 2, 2015 " data-caption="null" data-credit="null">I'd prefer it if you called me by my rapper name, Jeezy Weezy #ThingsJesusNeverSaid
— Aidan (@aidno) April 2, 2015 " data-caption="null" data-credit="null">Man shall not live by bread alone, because it's an incomplete protein, and a bit dry. Put some hummus on it. #ThingsJesusNeverSaid
— Regina Lusca (@Quaiteaux) April 2, 2015 " data-caption="null" data-credit="null">Any more we need to know about? Tweet us your best! @ChristianToday
