Women who aborted their babies can suffer depression and grief for many years after, but men also have their stories of heartbreak, grief and regret to share.

In an article in the Daily Mail, one man recalls the time in his early 20s when a former girlfriend decided on an abortion.  It's not what he wanted and he even pleaded with her to change her mind, but she confessed to him that she didn't love him enough to keep the baby.  

He respected her decision and went with her to the abortion clinic, even though he wasn't allowed to join the meeting but had to wait outside.  

It's still a cause for regret many years later. 

'It left deep scars,' said Tony Perry, who is now a father of two. 'The other way to put it is that it's like wearing a backpack — most days, you're simply aware it's there, but on others, it feels like an extra weight pulling you down.'

He added, 'Our relationship never recovered.'  

Tony was so affected by it that he went to get therapy from a counsellor to help him work through his grief and anger. 

Another man, 50-year-old Carl Miller feels similar pain. He told the newspaper that his guilt over a former girlfriend's abortion has never left him and often comes back to haunt him the most when he is going through a difficult time in life, even though it's completely unrelated. 

His story is a little different from Tony, though, as he didn't actually want his baby and he reacted angrily when his girlfriend, Jayne, told him she was pregnant.  He was the one to insist she got an abortion as he felt he was too young to be a dad and a baby would make things 'difficult' with his blossoming career. 

'This was the last thing Jayne wanted,' he admitted.  

In the end she agreed to go through with the abortion.  They're not together any more, but Carl has never been able to forget the abortion or completely move on from it. 

'If something bad happens, I feel I'm being punished for coercing my girlfriend to abort the baby she wanted,' he said. 

Another man, Paul O' Calloghan, felt sorry for his then girlfriend because it was obvious she really wanted to keep their baby; she even emerged crying from a meeting with doctors after seeing the baby in a scan for the first time.

Despite feeling moved by her pain, he was certain that abortion was the best thing as they hadn't been with each other very long and he felt he 'wasn't ready to have a baby with her.'

The termination made him feel 'relieved' at the time but five years later, the regret started to creep in when the people around him started having children.  That regret extended to his former girlfriend whom he didn't keep in touch with afterwards.

'There are bittersweet moments when I see men with their children and think: "That could have been me",' said Paul. 'I do feel guilty about what happened.

'I do wonder if she ever became a mum later in life, and I hope she did. Otherwise, it means her only child was aborted and, while I may never have a child, either, I'd hate to think that I deprived her of motherhood and caused her lasting pain.'

Charlie Conner, a worker with Rachel's Vineyard, an organization offering support to men and women after abortion, said the suffering of men who have fathered aborted babies is a 'huge hidden problem.' 

He said guilt and shame were a natural part of the mourning process but with some men, it takes years before it surfaces. 

'But because there isn't a grave or funeral service, grief may not express itself until years later,' he said.

'Guilt will be greater if the man was the driving force in the abortion. Even if they are not religious, they can feel punished when there are other difficulties in their lives.

'If they have other children, there can be the fear something will happen to them as a result of what they did.'