Is He the One? 5 Things Every Christian Woman Should Consider About the Man They Are Dating


Christian dating has often been viewed as a challenge to many men and women. And it should be, considering that the decisions we make in dating are something that could lead to a relationship with someone whom you will commit to being one with for the rest of your life.

Genesis 2:24 says, "Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh."

Becoming one with someone is no light matter, and asking the right questions is crucial to making the right choice.

Of course the most pressing question would be "Is he or she the one for me?"

This question can be answered by asking other questions that will hopefully bring us to a confident "yes" or "no."

Here are five questions to ask when considering marriage to a person you are currently dating.

1. Are Your Purposes Going in the Same Direction?

It would be most heartbreaking to end up being torn in two different directions after vows had already been made. I once knew a couple who ended a relationship after they couldn't come to terms with what God was calling each one to do. Since we become one flesh, we need to make sure we can go one direction.

2. Do Your Values Match?

Now, truth be told, not all our values will match. There are many areas where me and my wife still don't agree in terms of values. In our daughter's education, for instance, we're still torn between choosing a school that provides character over a school that focuses on competency building. But there are undoubtedly values to us that are non-negotiable such full-time ministry, family, discipleship and honouring God.

3. Is He Dependent on Christ Above All Else?

It's important for women to marry a man who depends fully on Christ for security and significance. Yes, we have our own role to play, but there is nothing more trustworthy than a man willing to get down on his knees to seek God's will first.

4. Does He Have the Willingness and Capacity to Provide?

Generally it's the man who is the bread winner of the home, although times are changing. But nonetheless, there must be a willingness and capacity for a man to provide financial, spiritual, emotional and social needs to a wife and to the family. Unless a man builds a sense of responsibility to have people depend on him, he is not ready for marriage.

5. Can You Trust His Leadership?

This is where things get tricky. There is no such thing as a perfect leader At the end of the day, however, there are bare minimum requirements that a man must meet in terms of leadership. These are decisiveness, ability to act in integrity and a strategic capacity.

While her husband will most likely falter and make mistakes at some point in their lives, the wife must still unconditionally trust and support him. The same is true for the husband: He should also unconditionally trust and support his wife.