Bethel worship leader Kalley Heiligenthal has encouraged people to know that God is still "king" and "shepherd" even in the midst of so much fear and uncertainty around the coronavirus pandemic.
With large parts of the world in lockdown at home, Kalley made the heartbreaking admission that she had chosen to isolate herself after the tragic passing of her young daughter Olive as a way of finding healing.
Olive was only two years old when she died suddenly just before Christmas last year.
"I've been quarantined. It's been three months, mine began shortly after Olive's memorial," Kalley told her Instagram followers.
"Jesus asked me to. Isolation from the majority, distance, space to heal. I'd resisted it, downplayed it, overplayed it, and then gave into it.
"I'd rather have stayed up and moving, looking triumphant and unfazed, but I had broken bones and He's too good to let me move around like normal on them.
"He was clear they weren't broken from defeat - there's no defeat here. But pain? Yes. Loss in this lifetime? Yes."
She admitted to feeling angry and disappointed but said that Jesus never left her and only "pulled in closer" as she worked through these emotions.
"He's refused to leave, even when I thought He should," she wrote.
"I tried to play it cool, tidy, right and holy, but could only do that so long before it all started to come out. I never doubted His goodness, but anger, disappointment, searing loss had to get out."
She said she was learning through it all that "we never outgrow our need for a good Father" and that she was trusting in Him now with the coronavirus pandemic.
"I'm learning shepherd Jesus, who's acquainted with valleys, not afraid to walk it with us. Not rushed to move us along, because He doesn't ever do anxiety," she said.
She invited people to find rest in Him now instead of waiting for the pandemic to be over.
"He is Life when the planet is gripped with a fear of death, grappling for control. One of my biggest stances of faith now is to trust He means it when He says to come to Him when weary and burdened, not after," she said.
"Rest comes from His hand, not from answers or resolve or things back to normal. I'll never have my old normal, who knows when you'll get yours. But He does make all things new.
"I don't know how but He does and He will. In what the world is facing now, He's King, He's Shepherd. He defeated death, disease and torment and so secure in it that we all can afford to hide in Him and pull from His confidence in this time.
"God, keep us in your wing as long as we need to get all you have for us here. He's making us soft, strong and unafraid. Let's let Him."
