Authentic fellowship is one of the most important aspects of any Christian gathering. Ironically, it's possibly one of the hardest things to find in many Christian groups nowadays.

In this article, we will discuss what authentic fellowship is and why it may be hard to find.

Obviously inauthentic

Let me start by telling a story about a friend in college. This person wasn't really talkative, but one day she went to school wearing a shirt that she couldn't stop laughing at.

Why did she laugh, you ask? It's because of the word that was printed on it:

"AUTHENT."

Of course, "authent" is not an official word. That miss-print simply indicates that the shirt was likely imitating an original shirt somewhere, but failed to copy every single detail. (Or perhaps that was meant to be, you think?)

But enough with the shirt. This person laughed so hard at the miss-print because it tried to be authentic when it obviously wasn't.

This is what I would want us to talk about. Inauthentic fellowship is obviously fake and superficial - and this is sadly how some fellowships are. We've got to recognize the "authent" and do something about it.

Authentic fellowship

Authentic fellowship goes beyond the pleasantries and the group selfies and the Facebook posts tagging friends in social media. It goes beyond having lunch together on a daily basis, and riding the same bus to and from work together.

The Lord Jesus Himself modeled perfect fellowship for all of us. He did this by having fellowship with us:

"No longer do I call you servants, for a servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all things that I heard from My Father I have made known to you." (John 15:15)

He made His business our business. He shared to us His heart, the very heart that God had for us and for all. Best of all, He welcomed us sinners with open arms and called us His friends.

Fellowship is like that: a coming together of totally different people for the same goals and interests, sharing things in common. Jesus did that to us, and we ought to do it to one another too.

But what makes authentic fellowship hard to find nowadays?

Here are a few things that authentic fellowships require, but we don't have:

1) A humble heart

Jesus made Himself of no reputation in order to come to us. If we want authentic fellowship with others, we've got to learn to humble ourselves and serve them.

We've got to have a humble heart that does not exalt itself over others. We will only isolate ourselves from others if we put them down.

2) Vulnerability and openness

Next, fellowship requires a level of openness and vulnerability. When we choose to identify with others, we will put ourselves in a state where we can be hurt and offended, but we should choose not to be offended all the time.

Jesus put Himself in that state. He did not consider equality with God as something to be grasped; rather, He identified with sinful men so that He could save all of us.

Towards the end of His earthly ministry, the people He welcomed with open arms either cried for His crucifixion or ran away, abandoning Him. Still, He loved us all non-stop.

3) Love

This last but most important ingredient can sadly be missing from our church fellowships.

There can be church members who compete with one another or those who are envious of one another's blessings and achievements and Instagram posts depicting the 'perfect life'. 

Other times, we don't really know or care about the suffering going on in someone's life outside of the fellowship.  Either they don't feel able to open up and share their problems with the group, or they do and our only offer of help is to pray for them. 

Jesus, however, said that this is not the way we should go. He said we should go in the way of love. And not just any love, but His love - sacrificial love.

"A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another." (John 13:34-35)

It's all fine and well taking amazing-looking selfies together at the church picnic or some Christian music festival but at the end of the day, authentic fellowship is loving one another as Christ loved us - and that is sometimes not beautiful or glamorous or cool but very, very costly.