Should I marry an unbeliever who goes to my church?

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In this age when some church services are done in a slick, concert-style manner, one can expect that many people will surely come to attend. After all, when a worship leader has a great voice, the worship band plays extremely well, and the pastor speaks a very inspiring, motivational message, everybody would surely like to come.

Still, attendance isn't a guarantee that an unsaved person has truly become a believer in Christ. This brings us to the question, "Should I marry someone because the person goes to church?"

Still the same banana

Friend, the Bible has the same answer to that question, regardless of whether or not the person referred to enjoys worship music and actively goes to church. Why? Believing in Jesus' finished work is not a matter of church attendance. Rather, it's a matter of the heart.

2 Corinthians 6:14 says, "Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?" You might say your friend is already a Christian simply because the person goes to your church. But let me tell you with all love that you could be wrong.

Religious affiliations

Friend, marriage is a very sacred, important thing. God clearly tells us in His Word that we should not partner with a person simply because we belong to the same group. Amos 3:3 says, "Can two people walk together without agreeing on the direction?"

Even if your friend, the one who is attending your church, has already professed to be a Christian, that alone isn't enough basis for you to choose your friend as your lifelong partner, spouse and coworker for the Lord!

Here are some things you should check, according to the verses earlier mentioned:

1. Are you both trusting in Christ alone for your salvation?

2. Do you both seek to uphold the Word of God as the ultimate authority and source of instruction?

3. Do you both prioritise God more than anything else, including one another?

Friend, if you say "no" to any of these three questions, you better think twice about pushing through.

Prioritising the Lord

Amos 3:3 says you will not be able to "walk together" unless you are both headed in the same direction. If you aren't headed towards a fruitful, growing relationship with God, what makes you say you'll be able to lead that friend of yours into a growing relationship with the Lord, too?

Friend, I say this with all love. Just because a friend of yours goes to church and even becomes a Christian doesn't mean you should marry that person. Choose to prioritise God before any relationship, even marriage. He'll give you the right partner in time.