'No' doesn't always mean 'never': what to do when God doesn't give you what you want

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So, you've asked God to give you something that you really want - a spouse, a child, a cure, a little bit of extra cash or maybe even just some more time, and you're pretty sure His answer is no. We've all been there and it can be a really disheartening place, especially when it's in response to something we feel we desperately need or if it's happened to us a number of times.

Jesus said: "And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son. You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it." (John 14:13-14)

So it can be hard to fathom why every desire that we ask God to fulfil isn't immediately or even eventually satisfied.

Be comforted that God knows your heart best as well as the entire span of your life, and if it belongs to Him, He will always give you what is right.

Think carefully about what you're asking of God
Does your request of God mean that someone else will suffer? Or is it in relation to something that you already have the skills and opportunity to address yourself? As well as asking God questions, ask yourself tough ones too. When we dig deeper into our desires, we can discover that we're motivated by things which promote purely selfish concerns or conflict with our faith and God's true character.

Ask yourself if He is protecting you from something
God didn't forbid Adam and Eve from eating from the tree of knowledge of good and evil because He didn't want them to be happy, He did so to protect them. It might be that the reason God isn't saying yes to your plea is because He is protecting you from a consequence that you cannot see. Sometimes we might have prayed for multiple things which aren't able to be reconciled with one another or are at odds with the genuine expectations that we have of God — to love and save us. Trust that God's "no" means He has something much better in store for you.

Be patient
We're so used to getting what we want on demand and finding ways around different obstacles to our desires that waiting can unsettle us. How many times have you panicked or jumped to the wrong conclusions when a friend has taken their time to reply to a message, thinking that you've done something to upset them or they're no longer interested. God still loves you even if you don't hear back from Him straight away or if He doesn't give you what you want. His response isn't always "no, never", sometimes it's a "no, not right now". Use the time that you have in between asking and receiving an answer to develop a deeper trust in God.

Don't give up hope
If you wholeheartedly brought something to God in prayer, then you would have had hope that He could help you. Don't lose this when He doesn't respond the way you wanted Him to. Place your hope in Him to enable you to understand what may seem at first like an unwanted outcome. If you know deep down you were sceptical about God saying yes, think about why. Was it because you knew your request was selfish? Or do you need to work on your faith in the power of prayer? Each time you pray to God for something, go with a heart full of hope even if your previous prayers remain unanswered or unfulfilled.