"...and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate."

Matthew 19:5-6

The Pharisees in Jesus' time often followed Him around asking Him questions. However, it was not that their motivation was to learn from Him, in fact they had a malicious intent; to try to find a way to catch Him out, corner Him and ultimately have Him killed.

One question that the Pharisees once threw at Jesus concerned grounds for divorce. They asked, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?" citing a civil command from Moses allowing divorce at the time that the Israelites were wandering in the desert, making their way to Canaan Land.

Jesus as always had the best answer, and one that drew out truth from the root. I can't encompass all cases and considerations, but we can lay some groundwork together and build a strong basis and foundation that will hopefully help each one of us come up with our own God-honoring stands when the time is right.

God's plan was perfect

To truly understand marriage, we should stop using the 21st century as the basis of reasoning because our world today has been messed up and twisted by sin and selfishness. We are to always look at things with God's original and pure plan as the foundation of our reasoning.

In Matthew 19:8, Jesus answered, "Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning."

God's perfect and unstained plan for marriage was to be between a man and a woman for the rest of their lives, unhindered and blessed.

We messed it up

"Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard."

What Jesus was saying here was, "I made marriage perfect, I gave you all authority to nurture it and stepped back to let you handle it, and you messed it up."

It's not God's fault that marriages today are broken. God's original plan has been distorted by the sin of man. Infidelity, selfish motives, lying, deceit, violent behavior and a long account of marriage-breaking mistakes cause separation, and we must remember, God is not the one who acts this way. We do.

There is grace

Though grace must never be an excuse to sin, it does have the immeasurable power to give pardon to a measure of mistakes. He also gives grace to reconcile broken relationships, and gives even more grace to help us make sure that we never have to break relationships again if only we trust in Him to take control.

Does God allow divorce? We can understand from the Bible that in certain extreme instances it may be the best solution, because of our sins and imperfections (because our "hearts are hard"), but it was never God's plan for their to be divorce, and it was never God's idea for marriages to be broken. It was our idea. But God in His graciousness finds a way to love us still and help us experience His love today.