It is hard. Your mind wanders. Dinner, the news, cup of tea – suddenly the most mundane aspects of life become fascinating when we start to pray.
The dilemma has been well documented by Carey Lodge on Christian Today.
But other than laugh at our own inadequacies when it comes to prayer, here are five things you can do to be better at it.
Set a time:
We are told of the virtues of discipline in Church and in the Bible. "Self-control" is even one of the fruits of the spirit. But it is sometimes difficult to know what that actually looks like in real life.
In prayer, setting a regular time to pray every day when we know we are less likely to be distracted and able to switch off is one way to exercise this gift – and improve your prayer life.
Maybe you are best first thing in the morning. Maybe last thing at night. Find a time in your day that works for you and stick to it.
Don't be too ambitious
It is tempting to be hard on ourselves if we only manage 10 or 15 minutes rather than the hours or days some of the saints spent praying.
But our self-flagellation over not praying long enough runs counter to Jesus' teaching. He tells his disciples to pray simply and privately – not with great shows of eloquence or length.
God desires our simple, heartfelt prayers. So don't be over ambitious - be realistic and meet honestly with your father.
Use other people's words
Despite Jesus' encouragement to prayer simply it can still be difficult to find the right words to say.
Fortunately some Godly people have gone before us and written prayer books for us.
Choose a book of prayers that suits you – if you are not particularly academic, avoid the really intellectual ones. But try to read out the prayers others have used. Think about what they have said. Ponder on what they ask for and allow their words to filter into your own prayers.
Be quiet and listen
Prayer is not a one way stream. It is a conversation. That means talking and listening. Treat it like that.
We too often rush into prayer, even with the best intentions, asking God for guidance, provision and everything and then rush on before giving the heavenly Father the chance to respond.
Factor in times of silence into your prayer time. Don't worry if your mind wanders. But allow God the time to speak back.
Use the ACTS pattern
If you struggle to know how to begin or structure your prayers the ACTS pattern is really helpful. It stops us rushing into a list of demands for God and forces us to think about the God we are talking with and the amazing gift that we can even come before him.
It stands for adoration, confession, thanksgiving, supplication.
Adoration – begin by praising God for who he is. Just pause and worship him for all that he is – not for what he has done but for who he is.
Confession – say sorry for all you have done wrong. Too often we rush into God's presence without first remembering our own sin and the grace he offers us in forgiveness.
Thanksgiving – worship God for all he has done for us. Even if your life is tough at the moment, you always have so much to be thankful for. Remembering this and thanking God helps us not to forget his goodness to us.
Supplication – last of all we come to asking God for things. Supplication just means the act of asking or begging for something humbly. At the end of all our gratitude and praise, now we come to humbly asking God for what we need – remembering he has promised to give us all we need – which isn't always the same as all we want.
