What I learned from a friendship that had grown cold

 (Photo: Getty/iStock)

This past month has been an enlightening one for me. Coming off the back of Easter, I was notified that one of my closest friends had come down with Covid. In the desire to care for my friend, I reached out.

However, this felt like the first time we attempted communication in months. Over the past few months, our communication had been sporadic and brief, and so when this came up, my attempts to care felt a little stilted.

Upon reaching out to my friend, a part of me grew resentful. I'd always been told relationships were a two-way street, so whenever break down happens, its always two parties at fault – either one could have attempted reconciliation.

So why should I take all of the blame for our relationship breaking down? They were equally responsible for this!

Therein lay the seeds of the fall again – blame shifting, rather than owning my own negligence.

As I processed this with God, He reminded me that this breakdown is but a poor reflection of my relationship with Him. How often do we take advantage of Him? How often do we do our own thing, forgetting to acknowledge Him, only to come back to Him at some later point asking for help?

Relational breakdown

God gives a beautiful illustration of what it's like to love us as human beings in the book of Hosea. Yahweh commands His prophet, Hosea, to marry a promiscuous woman (who may or may not be a prostitute) – someone Hosea knows will not be faithful to their marriage vows.

The wife continues to chase after other men, even to the point of going into slavery due to her debt. Hosea, in a spectacular act of love and grace, buys her freedom and takes her back (Hosea chapters 1-3).

We are Hosea's wife. I am Hosea's wife. I'm unfaithful to God whenever I chase after other things to satisfy me. I'm unfaithful to God when I choose to numb myself by filling my life with noise and busyness, rather than giving God space to work out the difficulties that have arisen with Him.

I'm unfaithful to God when I choose to ignore Him (consciously or not), and to enjoy the blessings He's given, rather than glorifying Him.

Yet God doesn't give up on me. He doesn't give up on you. Much like Hosea, He seeks us in our wanderings, and ransoms us from the clutches of these things that would destroy us - these things that promise fulfilment, but only give us emptiness.

God is such a loving husband to His cheating wife (the Church i.e. you and I), that He continuously and graciously corrects her, to bring her back into relationship with Him.

Reconciliation

If this is our God, if this is my Lord and Sovereign Ruler over my life, who goes out of His way for my sake, who am I to withhold love, affection, care, and reconciliation to anyone? Who am I to be bitter and resentful to my friend, when I have the power in my hands to attempt at restoring our relationship?

As Paul says:

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting people's sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation.

We are therefore Christ's ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ's behalf: Be reconciled to God. God made him who had no sin to be sinfor us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God" (2 Corinthians chapter 5, verses 17-21).

How can we, who have been reconciled to a loving God at such a cost, let things tear down relationships? One of sin's primary effects was the relational breakdown between humans. Since we have been redeemed, as Paul says, let us first reconcile ourselves and others to God, and, then to each other.

From being loved by a loving Father and husband, we now know what it's like to love others. Let us make the effort to love and be loved, despite the distance that may stand between us.

40% OFF
Lefant M2 Plus LiDAR Robot Vacuum and Mop Combo - 6000Pa Suction & 75-Day Self-Empty Base
$149.98 $249.99
55% OFF
Everyfun 60" Rectangular Platform Tree Swing - 700lbs Heavy Duty Adjustable Outdoor Swing (Colorful)
$49.99 $110.99
49% OFF
Ekouaer Jumpsuits for Women Dressy Casual - Ruffle Cap Sleeve Rib Knit Summer Romper
$14.99 $29.51
61% OFF
Ekouaer Women's Casual Loose Jumpsuit - One-Piece Printed Sleeveless Wide Leg Romper with Pockets
$14.99 $37.99
50% OFF
Ekouaer Lounge Sets for Women - V-Neck Two-Piece Short Pajama Set with Large Pockets
$9.9 $19.99
40% OFF
ROTAKE TB3 20V Heavy Duty 1/2" Cordless Impact Wrench Kit - 1380 Ft-Lbs Torque
$132 $219.99
36% OFF
Men's Athletic Running Shorts with Zipper Pockets - Lightweight & Quick Dry
$12.74 $19.99
61% OFF
Modern Ceiling Fan with Light and Remote - Reversible Quiet DC Motor
$69.3 $179.99
50% OFF
MOOKA H13 True HEPA Air Purifier for Home Large Room - 1076 sq ft Odor Eliminator
$39.97 $79.95
50% OFF
LINGDU V630 3-Channel 4K Dash Cam - Front, Cabin, and Rear Triple Car Camera with 64GB Card
$69.99 $139.99
60% OFF
GKBK Women’s Ribbed Short Sleeve Scoop Neck Slim Fit Tee – Stretchy Basic Summer Top 2026 Trendy Outfit Essential
$4 $9.99
75% OFF
Bluetooth Smart Scale for Body Weight - 13 Health Metrics with BMI and Muscle Mass (Black)
$19.99 $79.96
40% OFF
AZDOME GS63Pro 4K Dash Cam: 40% Off - Ultimate Driving Companion
$47.99 $79.99
60% OFF
Ekouaer Women's Satin Silky Pajama Set - Short Sleeve Pullover Top & Wide-Leg Pants
$13.99 $34.99
55% OFF
Ekouaer 3-Piece Maternity & Nursing Pajamas Set - Short Sleeve Top with Shorts and Pants
$14.99 $32.99
50% OFF
DBFIT Air Purifier for Home Large Room
$29.99 $59.99
Sealy 2-Pack Tritech 16" Twin Inflatable Air Mattress with Built-in AC Pump
$0 $113.99
50% OFF
Magnesium Glycinate Plus Gummies 860mg - Sugar-Free Mixed Berry Supplements (60 Count)
$10 $19.99
20% OFF
INTEX Prism Frame 20ft x 52in Above Ground Pool Set - Round Steel Frame Swimming Pool
$695.99 $869.99
Wahl Professional 5 Star Series Magic Clip Cordless Clipper - Stagger-Tooth Blade Hair Trimmer
$0 $139.99
Newsletter Stay up to date with Christian Today
News
Global study links corporate success to values long cultivated by faith traditions
Global study links corporate success to values long cultivated by faith traditions

“Technology can increase efficiency, but it cannot generate trust, integrity, belonging, or moral responsibility on its own," said the report's co-author.

Bishop responds with concern to Scotland's record abortion figures
Bishop responds with concern to Scotland's record abortion figures

Latest figures from Public Health Scotland show that last year there were 18,783 abortions in the country.

Gloucester Cathedral awarded 'Cultural Venue of the Year'
Gloucester Cathedral awarded 'Cultural Venue of the Year'

The award recognises the cathedral’s huge impact as a centre of culture.

Bangladeshi Christians continue to live in fear following elections
Bangladeshi Christians continue to live in fear following elections

Treatment of Christians has declined since the fall of Sheikh Hasina.

Today's Top Deals

Lefant M2 Plus LiDAR Robot Vacuum and Mop Combo - 6000Pa Suction & 75-Day Self-Empty Base

$149.98
$249.99 40% OFF
View Deal

Everyfun 60" Rectangular Platform Tree Swing - 700lbs Heavy Duty Adjustable Outdoor Swing (Colorful)

$49.99
$110.99 55% OFF
View Deal

Ekouaer Jumpsuits for Women Dressy Casual - Ruffle Cap Sleeve Rib Knit Summer Romper

$14.99
$29.51 49% OFF
View Deal

Ekouaer Women's Casual Loose Jumpsuit - One-Piece Printed Sleeveless Wide Leg Romper with Pockets

$14.99
$37.99 61% OFF
View Deal

Ekouaer Lounge Sets for Women - V-Neck Two-Piece Short Pajama Set with Large Pockets

$9.9
$19.99 50% OFF
View Deal

ROTAKE TB3 20V Heavy Duty 1/2" Cordless Impact Wrench Kit - 1380 Ft-Lbs Torque

$132
$219.99 40% OFF
View Deal

Men's Athletic Running Shorts with Zipper Pockets - Lightweight & Quick Dry

$12.74
$19.99 36% OFF
View Deal

Modern Ceiling Fan with Light and Remote - Reversible Quiet DC Motor

$69.3
$179.99 61% OFF
View Deal

MOOKA H13 True HEPA Air Purifier for Home Large Room - 1076 sq ft Odor Eliminator

$39.97
$79.95 50% OFF
View Deal

LINGDU V630 3-Channel 4K Dash Cam - Front, Cabin, and Rear Triple Car Camera with 64GB Card

$69.99
$139.99 50% OFF
View Deal

GKBK Women’s Ribbed Short Sleeve Scoop Neck Slim Fit Tee – Stretchy Basic Summer Top 2026 Trendy Outfit Essential

$4
$9.99 60% OFF
View Deal

Bluetooth Smart Scale for Body Weight - 13 Health Metrics with BMI and Muscle Mass (Black)

$19.99
$79.96 75% OFF
View Deal

AZDOME GS63Pro 4K Dash Cam: 40% Off - Ultimate Driving Companion

$47.99
$79.99 40% OFF
View Deal

Ekouaer Women's Satin Silky Pajama Set - Short Sleeve Pullover Top & Wide-Leg Pants

$13.99
$34.99 60% OFF
View Deal

Ekouaer 3-Piece Maternity & Nursing Pajamas Set - Short Sleeve Top with Shorts and Pants

$14.99
$32.99 55% OFF
View Deal

DBFIT Air Purifier for Home Large Room

$29.99
$59.99 50% OFF
View Deal

Sealy 2-Pack Tritech 16" Twin Inflatable Air Mattress with Built-in AC Pump

$0
$113.99 0% OFF
View Deal

Magnesium Glycinate Plus Gummies 860mg - Sugar-Free Mixed Berry Supplements (60 Count)

$10
$19.99 50% OFF
View Deal

INTEX Prism Frame 20ft x 52in Above Ground Pool Set - Round Steel Frame Swimming Pool

$695.99
$869.99 20% OFF
View Deal

Wahl Professional 5 Star Series Magic Clip Cordless Clipper - Stagger-Tooth Blade Hair Trimmer

$0
$139.99 0% OFF
View Deal