XXX Church Urges People to Abstain From Sex Before Marriage: 'Sex Is Not About the Here and Now'

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Because people live in a sex-obsessed culture, it's very rare to find couples nowadays who uphold vows of celibacy and preserve the sanctity of sex for the marriage bed.

Carl Thomas from XXX Church, an online ministry dedicated to helping people with porn and sex addictions, wrote on their website that it's not uncommon to find non-married Christians to have engaged in sex prior to marriage.

"To deny that is to live in a bubble," he said. "And I want to be transparent with you. I'm a pastor, a Christian, and a guy who had sex before he got married. And I wish I had heard more on this topic when I was younger because maybe it would have spared me some hard life lessons."

Growing up, Thomas said he heard a lot of religious reasons to abstain from sex before marriage, but he never heard any practical reasons for it. He was not enlightened with the actual purpose of sex, so the only thing he concentrated on was having really enjoyable orgasms.

"Sex is not about the here and now, and the reasons NOT to have sex before you get married aren't either," he stressed.

Thomas said people should wait for marriage before having sex because they will save themselves from a lot of regretful moments. Sex that's in the moment often lead to dire consequences — maybe an unplanned pregnancy or an STD. "Having sex is so personal and permanent. It can never be undone, so it shouldn't be something you regret," he said.

At the same time, abstaining from sex will keep relationships simpler, and it would be easier for couples to evaluate whether or not they are really compatiable.

"It's much harder to recognise a broken relationship when you are having sex with someone. Want to know if the relationship you have is actually worth having or continuing? Try not having sex and see if you still want to be around the person," he said.

Thomas added that sexual history is not just something people themselves have to contend with, since it's something that their future spouses have to learn to deal with either.

"When you bring a sexual history into your marriage, you are affecting both people. You have to deal with your flames of old, and so does your spouse. A relationship that is threatened by comparisons is one that lacks security, and security is super important in the bedroom," he said.

So while it's true that people must respect God enough to save sex before marriage, Thomas said people must realise that God's design for sex is meant to be the best. "His ways are not just spiritual. Sometimes they are also tremendously practical and always beneficial. And sometimes those ways may not seem important in the HERE and NOW but they will make perfect sense down the road," he said.

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