Woman shares her own Fifty Shades of Grey experience

Fifty Shades of Grey

One woman who had her own Fifty Shades of Grey experience has warned bondage and fetishes only distort people's perspectives on self-worth and love.

"I'll never forget the day I met Christian Grey. It was a time in my life when I was struggling with a lot of hurt from my past, and I was angry at God. The Bible I once read everyday was collecting dust, and being replaced with secular novels," the unnamed woman wrote in a letter to XXX Church.

XXX Church was set up to help people struggling with porn and sex addiction, and shared her story of "personal hell" on their website.

The woman said that her downward spiral began when she read the novel Fifty Shades of Grey written by E.L. James. She immediately found a connection to the lead character Anastasia Steele, who was transfixed by the gorgeous and wealthy Christian Grey, despite his perverse bedroom fetishes.

The author became so obsessed with the story that she wanted to try some of the things they did in the book. "One night, I decided to look up bondage porn. I walked right into the devil's trap as I stayed awake watching hours of a type of sex that was so new and strange to me. The sex/pain feeling was something I thought would help the emotional pain I was feeling inside," she confessed.

The woman signed up to a bondage and domination website and she quickly received a lot of offers from people who wanted to give her the "Christian Grey experience."

"They were sadistic and dark. I can't even describe to you the images I've seen on my screen in some of the profiles. It's amazing that things like this are even legal," she noted. But the woman still went ahead and agreed to one of the offers.

"Looking back I knew God was protecting me, because I didn't know this man at all, yet I allowed him to tie me up, beat me, and use me in anyway he so desired—but with a safe word. The feeling I had being tied up and helpless was in a strange way empowering—or so that's what I was being deceived into thinking. I felt important, and needed, even though I wasn't being treated with respect," she said.

Weirdly enough, the woman said that she liked how her physical pain masked her emotional turmoil, so she continued with the website. Things escalated so much so that she began meeting with photographers, porn producers, and other like-minded individuals on a regular basis to discuss their fetishes.

"What started out as a fantasy novel was turning into a nightmare," she said, and her initial feelings of satisfaction were replaced by feelings of worthlessness. She began taking sleeping and anxiety pills, and her life began spiralling out of control.

But one Sunday, she decided to go to church. "I knew God was after me and wanted me to get out of this sin I was in," she said. "I walked through the doors in my desperation, and I could instantly feel the warmth of the Holy Spirit. The pastor was preaching that day on 'being in bondage to sin' which couldn't have been any more of a coincidence."

Her life changed after that moment, and she said that no other feeling in the world can compare to God's love and forgiveness. "Immediately, I felt a sense of peace, and loving hands helped me back on my feet. I laughed, I cried, but best of all, I left church that day delivered! I went home that night and deleted every fetish account, deleted every number, and threw away all my medications. I never needed them again," she said.