What to do when someone criticises you

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People will always have a reason to criticise others. All of us get to face some amount of criticism at some point in our lives. Have you ever been criticised?

To criticise means to "indicate the faults of someone or something in a disapproving way," or to "form and express a sophisticated judgment, as to literary or artistic work."

Being criticised makes one feel judged, disapproved, and perhaps inadequate or failing in some area. Being criticised doesn't certainly feel good, but we can take the criticism and use it for our own good.

Take it and use it

No, this doesn't mean taking somebody's word or criticism and then finding a way to retaliate. Rather, we should take the mud that a critic flung at us, and perhaps get some gold stuck in the mud. Look at it this way: Every word spoken to us may not be good. But if we take a closer look at what the words meant, we might find a nugget of truth that might help us become better, not bitter, persons.

Getting gold from the dirt

To do that, we all need to do the following:

1. Be willing to get muddy

Just like how gold miners get their clothes dirty and stained while searching and digging for gold inside goldmines, we all need to be willing to receive criticism openly. Think about it: If we are not willing to honestly evaluate ourselves using what others say about us, then we could be deceiving ourselves.

The Bible tells us that our hearts are deceptive (see Jeremiah 17:9). Although it's clear that no one is righteous and seeks after God, all of us would want to acquit ourselves of any fault simply because our hearts are deceived (see Romans 3:10). We all need to let the truth be our guide to let us see the good, the bad, and the ugly about us. Comments given by honest critics will help us evaluate ourselves correctly.

2. Work hard at getting the gold

Just like how miners work hard to extract gold from the dirt, we all need to push ourselves to focus on the good things embedded in every criticism we receive instead of sulking. Although these comments aren't pleasing or nice at all, they might contain some truth about ourselves that we can't – or won't – see because we focus on the pain that they bring.

David once prayed to God in Psalm 139:23-24, "Examine me, God, and know my heart; test me, and know my thoughts. See if there is in me any hurtful way, and lead me along the eternal way." (CJB)

God might tell us what we need to hear through real, honest people who will give us sincere remarks. Focus on getting helpful truth from every comment given to you.

3. Discard those of no value

Dwelling on criticism will be bad for you. After extracting helpful truths through reflection, choose to let go of the pain and the false information given to you by a critic. Set your mind on things above, and see the purpose for which God has allowed you to be hurt by nasty comments. Grow through them.

Philippians 4:8 tells us, "Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things."