What does the Bible say about dating?

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The Bible gives us instruction for every area of our lives, and makes us complete and ready to do the good things that please God and benefit mankind. It's easy to understand that the Bible speaks to the various aspects of our lives: physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and even socially.

One of the areas that the Bible speaks powerfully and explicitly is the area of marriage and purity. It warns us of the dangers of marrying the wrong person, falling into sexual sin, and the devastating effects that lust has in our lives. That said, many of us might wonder why it doesn't directly say anything about dating.

Why is that?

Biblical Vs. Modern Times

Debra Fileta, a relationship and marriage counselor, noted in an article that what we call "dating" did not exist in Bible times. Basically, people in Biblical times married based on family lineage and economic status. The people of today, on the other hand, check for compatibility and personality traits.

A good example of a person who bypassed what we call "modern dating" is Abraham's own son, Isaac. Genesis 24 tells us that Abraham commanded his servant to go to his own hometown to find a wife for Isaac. When the servant returned with Rebekah, Isaac took her home and married her – no texting, no movie dates, no walks in the park.  It was a fast track to marriage.

Of course, the fact that the Bible doesn't speak about dating doesn't mean God is not concerned with our modern-day proceedings. He is concerned with the day-by-day things we do. If He is concerned with little sparrows, just think about how concerned He is about you (see Matthew 10:29-31).

Keep in mind that dating should have marriage as it's desired end. You date someone with the purpose of marrying that person later on.

What God says about dating

The Word of God may not have the word "dating" written in all its 66 books and 1,189 chapters, but it does contain instruction on how we should live our lives - instructions are transferable to dating, and should be followed in the fear of the Lord.

Here are some things the Bible says that can be instructive in our approach to dating.

We should do all things for His glory

First Corinthians 10:31 tells us, "So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God." Will your dating behavior and the relationship you're trying to establish bring glory to God, or merely please you?

Don't desire to be yoked with unbelievers

Second Corinthians 6:14 tells us, "Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with unrighteousness?" Don't even desire being joined to someone who doesn't know God. And yes, don't confuse dating with a means to "preach the Gospel" and bring an unbeliever to faith.

"...dating should not be used for the purpose of bringing the person you're dating to know Jesus," Fileta says.  I would agree. 

Run from sexual temptation

Friends, we should all run away from anything that tempts us to lust. Second Timothy 2:22 tells us, "So flee youthful desires and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart."

Sexual intimacy should be reserved for marriage alone

Remember to keep your hands to yourself and reserve sexual intimacy for marriage. Hebrews 13:4 says "Marriage is to be honored among everyone, and the bed undefiled. But God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterers."