God's Word is very clear that when it comes to marriage: Wives are to submit to their husbands just as the church submits to Jesus Christ. Nowadays, many couples have the concept of submission twisted and corrupted, resulting in marriages built on shaky foundations.

Many women hear the word submission and roll their eyes, most especially if a man says it. The thought of submission is not easily accepted because our understanding of it is twisted. At the other end of the spectrum, we see men who wave the commandment around without ever putting out the proper effort to be worthy of authority.

Ephesians 5:24 is very clear when it says, "Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands."

But just as women are to submit to their husbands, they are also to submit themselves therefore to Christ, realising that it is only through Him that we can be the husbands God wants us to be.

As a husband, I think of the idea of my wife submitting to me and it scares me because I know I'll just let her down. But then I am reminded that Jesus is the completion of my weakness and as long as I fall under His grace, my wife can trust me.

Here are three faces of godly submission that will help us appreciate it more.

Submission is collaboration not coercion

When wives submit to their husbands, we see a picture of man and woman co-labouring to fulfil not their own desires, but God's desires.

Instead of coercing and manipulating each other to do what we want to happen, let us instead point each other to God's will and support each other in our God-given roles.

Submission brings respect not inequality

We think of the idea of women submitting and we think of them as being only second in value. That's not true. Children are to submit to their parents, but they are not less valuable to God than their parents. Submission is instead a process of trusting and respecting the responsibility of men, and of men trusting Jesus to be the overall authority of the home.

Let us follow the example of Christ, who was and is the highest authority but still submitted Himself to the Roman rule when He said, "Then render to Caesar the things that are Caesar's, and to God the things that are God's." (Luke 20:25).

Submission is ruled by love, not fear

Just because the man is the head, it doesn't mean that women no longer have a say in things. That is only authority ruled by fear and not love. God desires that marriages be ruled by a love-motivated relationship that respects and submits because we understand that Jesus is the One truly in charge and not the husband.