Don't be too upset. The Sun came here to chew gum, post half-naked pictures of young women and attack Jeremy Corbyn. And it's all out of gum. It kind of had to fill its front page with a ridiculous story about whether Corbyn had bowed deeply enough at a Remembrance Day event.
Set aside whether he did or did not bow (he did), or whether the story is just part of an attack on the Labour leader because right wing rags are afraid he might win. Let's not even ask whether, as Christians, we should be comfortable at all with people being required to bow to anything or anyone but God (the prophet Daniel is currently judging you), and let's remember that what people have been upset about is that he did not bow deeply enough.
The internet responded with great memes mocking the right wing press' odd obsession with the angle of Corbyn's dangle, including one you can print and cut out for yourself, with levels of bow ranging from 'Stalinist Nazi liberal' (near the top) to 'Downward facing dog' (one step past 'osteopath').
One commentator pointed out that papers like The Sun, part of a stable that has been accused of hacking the phones of dead servicemen's families, should probably not be playing the 'you don't support our troops enough' game.
With that in mind, here are seven things that make as much sense as tabloids lecturing anyone about not respecting our troops:
1. Banks lecturing us about planning and responsibility
Seriously. No. You ruined the world. You don't get to tell anyone anything about how they manage their money. You do. But, really, the only financial advice I want from a banker any time soon is how to get the best return on cigarettes when trading with fellow inmates. A bank that had to be bailed out with my taxes telling me how to save or plan my finances is like...
2. Millionaires telling poor people to be content with less
This would be ridiculous. And insensitive. And tacky. And it happens all the time. Currently we have a millionaire Chancellor telling ordinary working people to be grateful for soul-destroying low-income jobs (even if they are forced on them for no pay) and a millionaire PM telling people with no income how they don't need benefits. People who could literally afford gold toilets are currently trying to make it harder for those on minimum wage to bargain and strike for better pay. That kind of insensitivity is as ridiculous as...
3. The USA criticising Putin for being warlike
Awkward. A country that has been pretty much constantly at war for decades (either openly or through secret or proxy wars) and which has, through NATO, broken every agreement with Russia to stay out of its area of influence, should probably not be surprised to get some aggression back. A nation Martin Luther King Jr called "mad on war" lecturing any other country on being more peaceful is kind of like...
4. Mark Driscoll telling his detractors not to be so mean
I mean, he did it. He actually once wrote a piece criticising a British magazine for being too "adversarial and antagonistic". Which is almost as worthy of serious consideration as...
5. Al Qaeda thinking you need to chill out a little
We all know the horrors of ISIS, and we're all praying for an end to their reign of terror, but do we still remember how they were introduced to us? As the terror group Al Qaeda thinks is too extreme. I mean. Osama looking over at you and saying, "you're too intense." That's got to feel as ridiculous as...
6. Christians defending the snowflake as a symbol of their faith in Jesus
Yup. Starbucks cups. Not the amount of tax Starbucks avoids or its other dodginesses. No. The fact that they removed snowflakes from their red cups. I'm not kidding, this is a thing. Because: 'War On Christmas'. Or something. Ugh. This is almost as dumb as...
7. Rob Bell calling Brian McLaren a hippie
Okay, this never happened. Sadly. The rest of them did, sort of, though. So maybe papers that seem desperate to send ever more of our young people to die overseas criticising the depth of an old man's bow in showing fallen soldiers respect is not that ridiculous after all?
Nah. It's still dumber than a pigeon with a head injury. Even if there's more than enough silliness and hypocrisy to go round.