This Sunday will see Clergy Appreciation Day in the US, as part of an even more generous occasion – this October being Clergy Appreciation Month. This isn't something we celebrate in Britain, though it's interesting to consider why. Being kind and complimentary doesn't always come naturally this side of the Atlantic; we're probably more likely to complain than heap on praise.

US pastors, according to one survey, actually have pretty good lives and more job satisfaction than most, so for them this month must be a delight. It might be the downtrodden Brits, to say nothing of other nationalities, that need the encouragement. Nonetheless, wherever your spiritual leader is, here are five ways you can encourage them, appreciate them and let them know they're loved. Assuming you do love them.

1. Applaud the sermon, even if it was terrible

Theresa May reminded the world this week just what a horror public speaking can be. It's stressful, highly pressurised stuff, no less when you're tasked with preaching the word of God. For many their week will lead up to the Sunday sermon where they pour out their heart for you, so do be kind when it's over. You don't have to get up and clap when its finished (definitely not in Britain) but do be sure to tell them it changed your life, even if what you mean is that you're now changing church. Or for the millennially-minded, you could tweet about their greatness and give them hopes of viral megachurch stardom. Seriously though, your pastor needs love, and even constructive feedback is better than stony silence. Or at least nod like you're listening.

2. Rescue them from the wierdos

Well, all Christians are a bit weird, but some are definitely weirder than others. Ever find yourself stuck in an awkward conversation after the service, which has really taken the form of an impassioned lecture about the political and apocalyptic future of the State of Israel? Console yourself that you can always duck out if you must because of 'kids' or 'I left the oven on'. Your pastor cannot! The last to lock up, and contractually obliged to be nice, they must endure it all with a smile and a 'hmm, that's really interesting'. Give them some grace and help them out. For once, you face the nutters so they doesn't have to. Christlike sacrifice.

3. Reward him with beautiful biscuits

Your pastor will be well acquainted with biscuits, the staple of any church event, so they'll know both the good stuff and the bland. If they've been daily assaulted with off-brand basic digestives, give them a Viennese Whirl. Pastoral ministry can be a slog, more than many realise, so haven't they earned it? You could even bake a Pastor Appreciation Cake to really celebrate them. There's a time to fast and a time to feast, and if they wanted the ascetic life, they'd be doing it already. Let them eat cake.

4. A week without meetings

Unless your pastor's an unstoppable dictator, they probably have to share control of the church and its business with others, such as elders, or in the Church of England, the Parochial Church Council (PCC). The PCC is absolutely as fun as it sounds, and provides a profound, experiential foretaste of what purgatory could be like. What's that, 'everyone has a voice'? They didn't sign up for this.

Why not make it so that the meetings just go away for a week? Someone step in to be the person who mediates over the fierce politics of flower decorations and coffee rotas. Or as that fine country tune implores, let 'Jesus take the wheel'. What could go wrong?

5. Leave them alone

Fear not, your pastor loves you. It's their job! But they also need time alone, or with their actual friends and family so they can recharge and enjoy vaguely normal lives. Instead of pestering them about whether they read your latest feedback essay (they did thanks), just let them be, free from the pressure to be the community's coach, counsellor and messianic motivator. If you relax a little, and make it so that your minister doesn't live in frantic fear of your next visit, your relationship will probably go well.

Ministry can be a tough gig, and many leaders may wear the weight of the world on their shoulders. So this Clergy Appreciation Day, just encourage them that they're loved, God is God and everything's going to be fine. 

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