One sure way to stoke the fires of love in your marriage


Marriage is a lifelong covenant that requires a lifetime of deliberate and intentional love. Husbands and wives commit to love each other through every test and challenge that life gives, and will continue to do so until death arrives.

Would you want to have a marriage that lasts long, until the day God calls you home? I'm sure you do, and I want to encourage you: It's possible.

Stoking the fires of love

Friends, we all know that during the wedding ceremony, both parties are very much in love with each other. To the husband, the woman he marries is the most beautiful, most lovable, and desirable woman in the whole universe. To the wife, the man she marries is the most handsome, the most gentlemanly, and the most desirable man in creation. You get it: Both of them see each other as "perfect."

Through times of hardship and the daily grind, most of that romance and loving feeling that was present at the beginning seems to fade. Yes, the romantic emotions that were once explosive slowly fade, and that's reality.

Knowing this, all of us married people need to work harder at stoking the fires of our love for our respective spouses. We need to go beyond what we feel, and move on to fulfilling our vows.

So how do we do that? We must intentionally take time off to pursue our spouse and make effort to rekindle our love.

Rekindling the love

When the feelings are gone, it's time for the commitment to take the lead. Do you and your spouse feel distant from each other? Then make efforts to become close. Do you feel like you and your spouse aren't having enough time together? Then cancel those appointments and go on a date with your spouse.

Proverbs 5:18-19 tells us what we should do:

"Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice with the wife of your youth. Let her be as the loving deer and pleasant doe; let her breasts satisfy you at all times; and always be enraptured with her love."

Men, take the lead and ask your wife to go out with you. Treat her in a way that's better than you ever did, far better than when you were just friends and still courting her.

Ladies, if your husband doesn't ask, then ask them. Many men aren't that expressive, but when they see the love of their life longing for them, they can't resist it.

Married friends, do all that you can to stoke the fires of your love for each other. Don't let anything cool it down. Take time off of everything else and prioritise your marriage.

How love should be

Friends, the Song of Solomon gives us a wonderful description of how our love for our spouses should be like.

"Set me as a seal upon your heart, as a seal upon your arm; for love is strong as death, passion fierce as the grave. Its fires of desire are as ardent flames, a most intense flame. Many waters cannot quench love, neither can floods drown it. If a man offered for love all the wealth of his house, it would be utterly condemned." (Song of Solomon 8:6-7)

Let your love for your spouse burn without waver daily. That's how Christ loved us, and that's how He wants us to love each other (see John 13:34-35).