Marriage shouldn't be a power struggle; it should be like a pair of scissors, says XXX Church

Some people treat marriage like a competition and often try to get the better of their spouses in order to feel good about themselves.

However, XXX Church—an online ministry dedicated to helping people with porn and sex addiction problems—believes that people actually serve themselves whenever they serve their spouses.

"It's easy to think of marriage as this always-changing power struggle, where you're always trying to figure out the things you're willing to give up so that you can get what you want. But that's old-school. And wrong," writes Pastor Craig Gross on the ministry's website.

"A great marriage works like a pair of scissors. It's the two of you working together, evenly and equally, to carve up whatever life sends your way. There's no dominant blade on a pair of scissors: they work together, and if one doesn't have the other, then nothing's going to get done," he says.

Gross suggests that couples play up each other strengths as opposed to following the traditional family model. Women should not just be limited to cooking and doing household chores while men take charge of fixing appliances and doing woodwork.

"Maybe one of you is a great cook — let them do the meals. Maybe one of you is good at spreadsheets and planning— let them handle the bills. Maybe one of you is more naturally handy with a toolbox and a set of directions — let them put together the kids' new bunk beds," suggests Gross.

By understanding each other's strengths and weaknesses, a married couple can then work as a unit, he says. "You've contributed to your marriage as a whole by pitching in. You've lightened the burden for them, which makes your marriage all the sweeter and which will continue to create a culture of service. You'll care for one another in every area, from domestic tasks to emotional work to spiritual growth," explains Gross.