I'm a Christian woman. Should I be bothered if the way I dress makes a man struggle with 'sexual purity'?

How should a Christian woman dress? 'Consider the lilies of the field.'Ruth Gledhill

I've never met Theresa May, but admire her from afar. Like her I'm a regular churchgoer, a card-carrying conservative and a vicar's daughter. I've got a lovely husband. And sometimes I wear short skirts that stop above the knee.

The debate over #legsit has got me thinking about how Christian women should dress in today's world. It feels like whatever we do, we're going to upset someone, whether it is the Twitterati, our Christian brothers and sisters, the neighbourhood atheist, or just the man and woman in the street.

In Matthew 6, Jesus tells us: 'And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.'  I choose not to interpret this literally, it being impossible to go out and about without wearing something. And because almost anything that a woman wears arouses comment of one sort or another, whether from Mum, mother-in-law, husband or friend, we all have to think a bit about what we wear on every day, for any occasion.

But if someone is upset by what we wear, is that our fault, or their responsibility? 

People weren't upset by what Theresa May was wearing, but they were angry about the way it was covered on the front page of the Daily Mail – as if her clothes were as important as the crucial issues of the day, such as Brexit. On Twitter, this quickly began trending as #legsit.

Theresa May's own response was lighthearted: 'As a woman in politics throughout my whole career I have found that very often, what I wear – particularly my shoes – has been an issue that has been looked at rather closely by people. Obviously what we do as politicians is what makes a difference to people's lives. I think that most people concentrate on what we do as politicians. But if people want to have a bit of fun about how we dress, then so be it.'

And I think that is pretty much what Jesus was saying. His comments mean, 'Don't worry about something you can't do much about. Trust in what God has clothed you in.' In other words, 'Let go and let God.'

So what does 'let God decide' mean in this today's context? Well there's quite a lot in the Bible about not wearing gold – 1 Timothy 2 and 1 Peter 3: 'Let your adorning be external – the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear – but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious.'  We're also told in Deuteronomy we shouldn't wear men's clothes, and in Corinthians that we should cover our heads.

St Paul actually writes: 'For if a wife will not cover her head, then she should cut her hair short. But since it is disgraceful for a wife to cut off her hair or shave her head, let her cover her head. For a man ought not to cover his head, since he is the image and glory of God, but woman is the glory of man.'

Let's face it, in contemporary society, this seems pretty sexist. A Christian man might with all good intention dare to quote such passages – but he will certainly, if unwittingly, unleash a wave of hostile feminist ire against himself on Twitter and Facebook.

So what is a woman to do when she loves wearing beautiful clothes, gold jewellery, gold shoes and even trousers – but also wants to live a godly life that is respectful to husband and faith?

One answer is to look at what Jesus and his followers really meant when they carried his word to the early Christian communities. And there is a big clue in the command not to to worry about external adornments. It is the 'don't be anxious' bit that is important. 

Whatever the physical apparel we wear, we can try from the inside to clothe ourselves in strength and dignity – like the wife of noble character in Proverbs, the one whose price is 'above rubies'. Theresa May surely is the epitome of the amazing woman in this proverb. 

God cares more about what is inside our hearts – men and women – than how we do or do not adorn ourselves. That is why Jesus is telling us not to worry about it. This why our Prime Minister does not object to 'a bit of fun'. 

I'll never be a lily of the field, the valley or anywhere else. We all know that the grass withers, the flowers fall. If my husband gives me a piece of gold jewellery, I believe it is respectful to him to wear it. Likewise if he likes his wife in a shorter skirt, and with longer hair, I respect that too.

But also I wear those things simply because I like to wear them. And if that makes some men struggle with what is known as 'sexual purity', frankly that is their struggle and their problem. As a woman, I don't really understand it, but I do wish them luck with it. 

Obviously there is such a thing as going too far and I'm not defending that.

But it is not wrong to dress ourselves to look as good as we can – even if that means short skirt, gold necklace and long hair. It is why we do it that is important. Just as God does not judge us from our outward appearances, none of us – men or women - should judge others in this way. Millennia of history tell us that women simply do love clothes, shoes and jewellery. So clearly that is how God made women, just as he made the lilies of the field. As long as we remember that it is what is inside that is really important, we should not  be forced to get anxious about it by men who are themselves over-anxious about their own response. It really can be – and should be – fun.