If love bears all things, do we put up with a person's sin?

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In a time where judging people seems to be the most mortal of all sins, both in Christian and contemporary circles, have we left out completely the need for rebuke and reproof? Looking at the example that Jesus lived out as a leader, He never missed an opportunity to rebuke His followers and disciples, but there was a way that He did it and with a right heart stance as well.

Ephesians 5:11 does tell us, "Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but instead even expose them." There is a very strong Biblical emphasis on the need for reproof and rebuke, but nowadays disciplinary action and correction have almost become taboos in churches lest pastors want to see their finest leaders leave the ministry.

It's almost sad to see that rebuke no longer has a place in many churches, but most of the time people shun correction only because leaders don't know how to rebuke properly. When Jesus said in Matthew 18:15, "If your brother sins, go and show him his fault in private; if he listens to you, you have won your brother," He wasn't giving a cookie-cutter method of correcting a brother or sister because if that were the case, Paul would have been contradicting Christ when He told Timothy to rebuke those who persist in sin publicly (1 Timothy 5:20).

God was never the type to give directives simply for the heck of it, but One who always has a reason for every command. Why did God command us in Matthew 18:15 to rebuke in private? Because rebuke has and always will be built on the motive to protect and secure others. To correct for any other reason would be close to disastrous.

When church leaders rebuke leaders and members to protect the pastor's reputation, lighten the load of ministry heads or to simply take the headache off people, we miss the point. I'm not saying that these won't be effects of proper rebuke. Many times I have rebuked others, I have seen this happen almost instantaneously. But these things are not very good bases for proper rebuke.

To be honest, in the ten years I have served in ministry regularly correcting and accepting correction, I have not found a proper way to rebuke others. Because truth be told, there is no one perfect way to rebuke others. But there is, however, a proper heart stance to it. What is the position of our hearts as we rebuke others?

When Jesus would rebuke others, it would always be out of an abundance of love and a desire to see people reach their potential. It was never to prove He was right or better even though He is in every way, and it was never to humiliate or malign anyone. It was simply an outflow of love. We can never truly say that we love someone when we do not correct them as an outflow of genuine compassion or care.