Gay man shares how church helped him to see 'beauty' of God's design for family

Jason Yolt

Jason Yolt was 14 when he first stumbled upon gay porn only to become, in his words, 'hooked'. Prior to that, he says he was only interested in girls.

Now, 13 years later, the author and motivational speaker is telling his inspirational story of how a near-fatal motorbike crash and struggle with same-sex attractions have only made him want to live life to the fullest in the love of God.

Yolt nearly died when he rented a motorbike to travel across Cambodia and Vietnam. In a promotional video for his book, If You Only Live Twice, he says his family found him in a hospital in Cambodia 10 days after his crash, where his injuries were so serious that a death certificate had already been written for him.

'The fact that I'm still breathing and walking is because the author of this story isn't actually Jason Yolt. The real author is amazing grace,' he says.

Jason said the grace he has experienced is 'greater than any shame' over his homosexuality.

The crash had a profound impact on Jason, who said it was while he was recovering from his injuries in hospital that he felt the need to share his 'secret struggle' with his parents.

'I woke up 40 days later to my tired worried parents. As my parents were cleaning, feeding and just loving me, a thought hit me hard: what if I did not survive the accident?' he says.

'What if they learned that I could not share my secret struggle with them because I was ashamed or more so, because I thought they would be ashamed of me? It would kill them too.'

When he opened up to his parents and best friend about his sexuality, both of them showed love and acceptance. Sadly his best friend later committed suicide and Jason only found out after the funeral that it was because he too had been struggling with same-sex attraction.

Fortunately, Jason had also been able to find a supportive community at his church.

'The first time I came out to anyone years ago was at church to my small group. 'I had never felt so nervous in my life,' he recalls.

'But as each of us let our walls come down, we realized we're not so different after all. We're all broken in our own ways, all of us just doing our best with what we can.'

He says it was his experience in church that made him believe that God's design for one man and one woman was beautiful.

'That was when I felt accepted, when I knew that God's design for family is where I belong,' he continues. 'I saw the beauty of man and wife in marriage, in how they complemented each other, and it makes me believe it's how it's supposed to be.'

He says that while his same-sex desires have not completely gone, they no longer control him and the love of God has made it possible for him to be open about them without feeling shame.

'I may not be free of these same-sex desires just yet, but these desires don't define me anymore, since God's love took hold of my life,' he says.

'I may not be free from my desires, but I no longer want to pursue them. I can be open with others about my struggles mainly because the true love of God has found me.'