Church office Christmas party: how to have fun without breaking the photocopier

It's Advent, which means Christmas party season is now in full swing. If you work for a bank, or in an office, or even in a shopping mall, that means you'll probably be enjoying some sort of work-sponsored gathering over the coming days, albeit with vastly varying budgets. The Office Christmas Party has become a cultural phenomenon (so much so that they even made a terrible film with that title last year), where the aim seems to be to drink as much alcohol, photocopy as many body parts and generally behave as irresponsibly as possible, before having to face your colleagues sober again on Monday morning. The debauched madness presumably seems like a good idea at the time; less so when you have to face Trevor from accounts and explain why you drew cat pictures all over his year-end report.

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Many Christian organisations and churches also attempt to embrace this tradition, but obviously we're keen to practice a more integrous and appropriate version which remains faithful to our values. Not for us the grisly practice of middle-aged spin the bottle, or similar nefarious and unprintable pursuits. Yet with so much cultural pressure to create a pre-Christmas celebration that's more about hedonism than team bonding, it can be hard for believers to know how to party. Never fear however: I'm here with a foolproof office party planning guide that will help you put the 'fun' back into Christian Fundamentalism.

The 'bar'

Obviously you don't want to go the 'traditional' Christmas party route here, but that doesn't mean you can't have a little fun. So what about creating a menu of non-alcoholic 'mocktails' with hilarious pun-based names? Son of Man-hattan anyone? How about a Bloody Mary Magdalene? Or if you don't fancy Bible-based wordplay, you could clean up an existing cocktail with more Christian ideology: who fancies a glass of Holding Hands on the Beach?

Food

Where Christians are gathered for an advent party, there's going to be a lot of XL Christmas jumpers in the room. So, all warnings about the dangers of gluttony being heeded, the food is going to be an important element. You could simply go tried-and-tested here and spend a small fortune on chicken goujons and weird pickled things that no-one's going to touch, or you could get more adventurous and embrace a semi-religous theme. What about a Bible Buffet — where you can only serve foods that are actually mentioned in the Good Book? Honey-dipped quail wings and Lamb Manna burgers anyone?

Party games

This is where the Christian office Christmas party has the edge over Goldman Sachs with its ice sculptures, celebrity guests and all-you-can-eat caviar. No-one knows how to play semi-embarrassing parlour games like a group of sober Christians. Here are just a few suggestions of easy-to-play games that will make your party the talk of the office until next Pentecost:

  • Pass the Bible: Players sit in a circle, and as the music plays, pass around a copy of the Good Book. Then, when the music stops, the game leader refers to an obscure passage without using the book, chapter or verse reference. The person holding the Bible then has to find it within ten seconds, or face the judgement of the group for not knowing the Scriptures properly.
  • Testimony consequences: A variant on the old storytelling game. Players take it in turns to tell the story of how they came to faith, but take over from each other every ten seconds to create a much more dramatic testimony. For example, the first player might begin, 'I was living a violent life of drug and alcohol abuse which had left me helpless and alone when...', before the second person takes over with, 'I decided not to play lacrosse that lunchtime, and went to visit the Christian Union at my Grammar school'. Hours, if not minutes of fun.
  • Faith for growth musical chairs: Play the classic game where a chair is removed after each round, but with a faith-filled twist. Instead of taking a chair away after each round, add another, believing that God will actually add to your number even as the game is being played. Note: I can't guarantee how this will go.
  • Worship musical statues: Put on a Matt Redman CD, and get everyone to begin worshipping along to it. Then, when the music stops, everyone has to freeze into the sort of position of extreme charismatic devotion that might make its way onto the publicity for a Christian conference. Extra points for gurning faces and balancing on one leg; the loser is the introvert who does all their worshipping 'in their head' / stands their looking bored with their arms folded.
  • Names of God Bingo: Each player has a grid with nine blank squares, and fills each with one of the names for God found in the Bible. Then a 'caller' reads a list, and players mark them off until they've either completed the card or — if it's dragging a bit — got three in a row. Pro tip: do write 'Jesus', 'Son of Man' and 'Lord'; don't write 'Jehovah-Tsidkenu'.

And of course, in all of the above games, the brilliant twist is that the loser actually wins, because the first shall be last.

Speeches

Again, this is where your average Christmas party can come unhinged; a well-meaning CEO takes a few moments to address the normally-well-behaved staff on whom he has just spent the equivalent of a month's profit, and receives enough jeering and abuse to make the next round of redundancies really easy to select. In the more sedate environment of a Christian office party, however, this problem shouldn't occur. Don't go on too long though, leaders – the staff hear enough sermons and thoughts-for-the-day from you during the rest of the year. Instead, why not give out some pretend 'awards' to recognise the more offbeat characteristics of your staff team? Just make sure you don't use this as an opportunity to be incredibly passive-aggressive and subtly communicate all the things you've all thought but been too kind to say for the rest of the year. A 'most interesting smell' award probably isn't kind.

So there you have it: a veritable roadmap for a party that will both reward staff AND keep Jesus happy. Have fun everyone!

Martin Saunders is a Contributing Editor for Christian Today and the Deputy CEO of Youthscape. Follow him on Twitter @martinsaunders.