Christian dating: 'Is there really someone out there for me?'


Soul mate — just the ring of it sounds romantic, doesn't it? The idea of having a soul mate has to do with believing that there's someone out there just for you who will be the perfect fit for you. As wonderful as the concept sounds, I'm afraid it's neither Biblical nor realistic.

At one point or another, many of us may have hoped to find our perfect partner. We may have searched far and wide and come into relationships expecting to find our one true soul mate.

But again and again such a mindset invites more harm than good.

There's no such thing as the perfect one

Is there someone out there for you? Yes there is, but that someone isn't what you might expect that person to be. First and foremost, that someone will not be perfect. If you're hoping to find prince charming or the woman of your dreams (at least the way pop culture packages it), guess what? You never will.

I really hate to be cynical, but there's just no one who will ever be the perfect fit for you.

First of all, no one is perfect. Every single person you will meet will be a sinner and every single person who will meet you will also find the same sinner. Romans 3:10 tells us, "As it has been written: 'There is none righteous, not even one.'"

In a sense we are all broken and incomplete—only the imperfect pieces of a puzzle.

So does that mean there's no one out there for you? There is, but chances are that someone is just as broken and incomplete as you. While marriage is a blessing and one we can enjoy, it's also something that will be challenged by our incompleteness.

So where then can we find hope for perfect love?

Perfect love is out there, but it's not in someone of the opposite sex. It's not in a marriage. It's not in earthly romance. The perfect love we seek is in no other than the perfect love Christ has for us all. 1 John 4:18 tells us, "There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear." That perfect love is the love God has for each and every one of us.

In marriage, we do have the perfect partner, but it's not your spouse. Our perfect partner is Jesus—the third strand of the cord, the glue that holds us together, the sacrificial lamb that cleanses us and sanctifies our marriage for our enjoyment.

The point is this: There's someone out there for you, but that someone isn't as perfect for you as you may think. But when you are founded and firm on God's perfect love for you, you can enter into a relationship that will be delightful and God-honouring not because you found the "right one" but because Jesus made you right for one another.