Avoiding Divorce: The Marriage Problems You Need to Address Early on


The power of the snooze button on an alarm clock really gets to me. I don't know why people invented the snooze button, but I firmly believe that it should be removed from all alarm clocks. Snooze buttons are just excuses to not get up and to delay our day altogether, thus ruining our overall productivity.

What's more dangerous than an actual and physical snooze button is the "snooze button" that we put into our marriages. We hit that button when we put aside issues, ignore offences and refuse to communicate early on. As a result, harsh feelings pile up in the heart of each spouse until, before we know it, we have drifted completely apart from one another.

Divorce doesn't start when you walk into court. It starts much earlier than that. It starts with the first compromise, the first negligent and offensive word and the first decision to ignore an issue. We don't just wake up one day wanting a divorce, becoming unfaithful or turning stale towards our spouse. The marriage-ending decisions that people make are a compilation of months, even years of issues unresolved from the beginning.

At the heart of broken marriages is the unhealthy urge to procrastinate and ignore issues either because we don't have the time for it, we see it to be too awkward or we just don't know how serious things will get when these issues remain unresolved.

I thank God that my wife Ces and I were told early on of the negative effects of putting off misunderstandings and issues. Why? Because we know it was bound to happen to us since the fact is that every single couple will face the challenge of misunderstanding.

Ephesians 4:26 tells us, "Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger."

It couldn't be more true in marriage. Marriage problems need to be nipped in the bud so to speak just like any relational problem should be. The longer we keep issues unresolved in marriage, the harder they're going to be fixed in the future.

We have to admit that it takes time and a lot of relationship capital to do so, but if we truly value our marriage we will be more than happy and willing to pay the price of doing so—cancelling one meeting, letting go of one basketball game, taking a rain check on a night out with friends or whatever it takes to address issues early on in a marriage and making a resolve to fix things as soon as they arise.

Are there issues in your marriage today that need to be addressed? I suggest that you stop whatever it is you are doing now and focus on getting that done right this very instant. Go for it!