Why Billy Graham's grandson Tullian Tchividjian now 'dreads' Christmas

(Facebook/Tullian Tchividjian)Tullian Tchividjian dreads spending this Christmas without his family.

Billy Graham's grandson Tullian Tchividjian used to love Christmas. In fact, he considered Christmas his favorite time of the year.

"I loved the presents and the music and the lights and the chaos and the traditions and the decorations and the shopping and the Christmas movies and the food. I loved it all. But more than anything, I loved being with my large family," he wrote on his blog.

His love for Christmas only heightened when he had his own family. Whatever traditions he practiced before, Tchividjian said he applied on his three children. "Their mother and I worked hard to create a fun-loving atmosphere of 'togetherness' that would make our kids keenly aware that they (like me when I was growing up) were surrounded by people who knew them and loved them," he explained.

But Tchividjian said those days were sadly over. His kids are now grown up, and he is divorced from his wife. Now that Christmas is approaching, Tchividjian said he "dreads" it because of all the regret, sadness, guilt, and shame it triggers.

"The death of a loved one, the loss of a treasured relationship, the break-up of your family, financial stress and so many shattered dreams make Christmas for lots of people a hard time of year rather than a happy one," he said.

Tchividjian stepped down in June 2015 as lead pastor of Coral Ridge Presbyterian Church in Fort Lauderdale after he confessed to having an inappropriate relationship with a church member, according to Christianity Today. He claimed it was because of his broken pride after learning that his wife had an extramarital affair.

He has since remarried and occasionally guest speaks about his experience of God's grace through the scandal.