Marriage is a very beautiful thing, a covenant between a man and a woman blessed by the Lord God Himself, who has brought the two individuals together. At its best, marriage should be run by three parties – the husband, the wife, and the Lord – all rolled into one pursuit: God Himself.

Contrary to how popular views about marriage describe it, marriage isn't simply a union between a man and a woman. It's a union that begins, thrives and lives on with a purpose. And that purpose is to honour God by loving Him first, then loving each other faithfully next.

Christ as core

If I will ask you, "what do you think is the core or foundation of a healthy, godly marriage?" What will you say? Will you say love? Or affection? Or attraction or compatibility? These reasons are quite important, but no, they're not what a thriving, godly marriage is based on.

A healthy, godly marriage that thrives needs to be founded on Christ. Some might say that it sounds religious, but actually it's not. Those who have been married on the foundation of loving one another as Christ loved each of us can say it's just amazing.

Consider what Ephesians 5:21-27 said:

"And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything. For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God's word. He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault."

Here are some things we can learn based on this passage.

1. Christ is the basis on how a couple should love one another

Human love is imperfect, simply because no human is perfect. Christ's love, however, is perfect, and is thus the only one that we should use as a guide which we should imitate or follow.

2. Christ models how husbands should love their wives

Husbands, Christ is our role model on how we should love our wives. If we make it our pursuit to be like Him, then we will do our best to be focused on our wives, being faithful to her, and to desire and do what is best for her – without expecting any return.

3. Christ is the reason why wives must love their husbands

Wives, on the other hand, have Christ as the very reason why they should love their husbands. I understand that it's not easy to submit to a husband who is not Christ-like. When this happens, choose to honour him by praying for him and doing what is best for him, just like what Christ did for all of us men undeserving of grace.