Why Having a Long Marriage Is Not the Goal

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Are you living out your marriage simply hoping that you can go through one day without a vicious quarrel, staleness, a hurtful word, miscommunication or financial problem? Well, in case you haven't been told, you're hopes are not in vain because God wants you to have more than just that.

The goal of a marriage is not to simply survive it, but to thrive in it. Marriage is not some obstacle course that has you panting and crawling at the end but a joyous journey with someone. That's not to say that we won't have bumps and challenges, but we can come out joyful in the end. Marriage was meant to be a blessing, not a burden.

God's plan is to give hope to your marriage and make it prosper. Do you want that for your marriage as well?

Here are three ways that you can have a marriage that thrives, not just one you survive from.

1. Pursue Purpose Together

One characteristic that thriving marriages have in common is that they are purposeful: They know what the end goal is and what the journey looks like. Do you and your spouse know the purpose of your marriage, and do you actively pursue it?

Marriage was meant to be a blessing not just to two individuals but to God and to the people around them as well. A marriage that purposefully seeks the pleasure of God and the advancement of His Kingdom on earth by being a blessing to family and friends is one that thrives through the years.

2. Involve Christ

Ecclesiastes 4:12 tells us, "And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken." Christ is that third cord for us. A marriage that involves God and His statures and plans opens us up for His good, pleasing and perfect will.

In every decision, we are to involve God through prayer and careful consideration of His ways and character. When God is in our marriage, we thrive beyond simply surviving.

3. Be Intentional

All the things that matter most in life require a whole lot of intentionality and effort. No one just wakes up with a bigger bank account, a tone and fit body, a thriving career or strong spiritual disciplines. We have to work hard for it and be deliberate about investing time and effort into these aspects.

There's no reason to believe that marriage is not the same way. Just like a career, financial base or spiritual walk needs time and energy, and so does a marriage. When we become more intentional with putting in resources and attention into our marriage, it will almost naturally thrive as well.