Why does Jesus refuse to help the Syro-Phoenician woman in Matthew 15?

One of the most disturbing encounters Jesus had during his ministry is related in Matthew 15: 21-28. He refuses to help a desperate woman because she's a Gentile, and describes her as a 'dog'. Only when she argues with him does he consent to do as she asks and heal her daughter.

It's a very troubling scenario that commentators have struggled to explain. However, in his book Jesus Through Middle Eastern Eyes (SPCK, £12.99), Kenneth Bailey, who spent many decades living and working in the region, presents an intriguing solution.

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In the culture of the time, it was inappropriate for a woman to speak to a male stranger. That she was a Gentile and he a Jew made it it even worse. They were of different communities, and he owed her nothing. But her use of the Jewish title 'Son of David' is designed to cross that barrier.

But Bailey's reading, as well as the conversation with the woman, there's a conversation going on with the disciples. Jesus speaks and acts as he does because he knows their thoughts: 'This is a Gentile woman who has nothing to do with us, and Jesus shouldn't be bothering with her.'

So when he says, 'I was sent only to the lost sheep of the house of Israel' and 'It is not right to take the children's bread and toss it to the dogs' – a deeply insulting metaphor – he is not saying what he believes himself, but what the disciples believe. And by doing so, and making them see the consequences of their attitudes, he is making them ashamed.

What seals their shame is her response – 'Even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from their masters' table.' She knew Jesus did not mean what he said, she had faith in his ability to help and she would not, as a desperate mother, take no for an answer. There is even a touch of humour in her reply.

As Bailey says: 'The disciples are watching and listening. Indeed, in all Israel they have seen neither such total confidence in the person of Jesus in spite of his hard words nor such compassionate love for a sick child. Her reponse is a deadly blow to their carefully nurtured prejudices against women and Gentiles.'

He concludes that 'an enormous amount of sophisticated spiritual formation is taking place in the hearts of the disciples and indeed potentially in the hearts of any readers of Matthew's Gospel'.

The story makes us think about our own prejudices, the barriers we put up and the lines we draw around our communities. The disciples judged the woman because she was female, a Gentile and had a sick child. Where do our judgments fall, and what words of Jesus do we need to hear?

Follow Mark Woods on Twitter: @RevMarkWoods