If there is one thing that will perfectly turn people off a Christian and ultimately the Lord Jesus, it's the character of lording over others.

While it's understandable that we make mistakes once in a while, it's when we try to become domineering, forceful, sneering or bossy towards other people that our Christian testimony loses it's attractiveness. And this becomes even more the case when a Christian leader is the one showing this attitude and behaviour.

Peter told church leaders in 1 Peter 5:2-3, "Be shepherds of God's flock that is under your care, watching over them—not because you must, but because you are willing, as God wants you to be; not pursuing dishonest gain, but eager to serve; not lording it over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock."

In that passage, Peter reminds Christian leaders that they should not lord over the people that God entrusted to them. Rather, they should serve them and take care of them the way Christ Jesus, the Chief Shepherd, would. Lording over is an attitude that should not be seen or even heard of in any Christian leader!

Christian leaders who lord over others disgrace the humility of Christ

Christ, the very Head of the Christian church, came not to be served but to serve (see Matthew 20:28). Christ's followers – if they really follow Him – must desire to serve and not to be served, just like Him. It is because of this bossy, arrogant attitude that those outside the faith are unable to see that our God is good, kind, gracious and loving.

Mahatma Gandhi once said, "I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ." It's humiliating.

It's not fitting for Christians

Paul told Titus that those who want to become overseers or leaders in the church should not be overbearing (Titus 1:7). Being overbearing means being controlling of others. God gave people free will, and Christians must recognise that. Instead of controlling people's decisions, we should guide people to God's truth in His Word, and help them make those decisions based on what the Word says.

What to do when we realise we are lording over others

We must remember that our character and behaviour can speak more to unbelievers than the words that come out of our mouths. If you have been exhibiting such arrogant, non-Christ-like behaviour, then repent of that attitude. Ask forgiveness from those you lorded over, and work on being a humble servant who is accountable to the Lord for every thought, word and deed.

Lastly, do your best to be a Christ-like leader so that "when the Chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the crown of glory that will never fade away." (1 Pet.5:4)