Parents are faced with a long-standing challenge of defiance, disrespect and disregard for rules with their children. In our own attempts to change them, many find themselves failing.

But God's word teaches that transformation cannot come by teaching good works, good manners or good behavior, but only through the grace and love of Jesus Christ.

"But isn't that applicable only to stubborn and weak-minded non-Christians?" What makes stubborn and weak-minded Christian kids any different? The gospel is not just a tool for salvation from hell, but also the only effective way to see lasting change in people, even children.

So much of Christian parenting today is good advice parenting, but very little of it deals with God's heart of parenting. If there is anyone who is a perfect example of proper parenting, it's our Abba Father. While earthly parents do have an important role to play in raising children -- we provide, teach values, educate, affirm, encourage and so on -- there are also some things that only God himself can do.

So many children of Christian parents nowadays are so turned off by the concept of Christianity because parents have used it as a terrorizing threat full of curses and consequences. As a result, we have built a generation so afraid of failure that they either embrace it or fear it incessantly.

Whichever way they go, they often get disappointed in themselves because in essence all children -- just like adults -- are sinful to the core, and this leads to more hurt, pain and despair amongst children.

God's heart for parenting is simple. Not easy, but simple. He shares it in Matthew 19:14, "Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven." We are, as parents, to keep the way open for our children to approach God freely.

And this doesn't mean imposing more rules than necessary, forcing them into Bible schools or telling them that God loves obedient children more than rebellious ones, but just keeping the way clear for children to come before Jesus and letting Jesus do the transformational work in our children.

So much of parenting is dependent on the grace of God because it's never really what we can do for our children, but what Jesus has already done for them -- freeing them from the consequence of their sin by the renewal of their minds and the transformation of their hearts.

Parenting is not about our skillfulness and grace (although we are compelled still to give our best to our children as an expression of love), but about the abounding mercy and grace of their heavenly Father who has blessed them with every spiritual blessing in Christ.