The biggest girl band in the world were constructed through victory in the X Factor talent show but their winning formula has caught the imagination of the globe. Their female empowerment message inspired by the Spice Girls fills dance floors and tops charts across the world.

I admit I have a soft spot for this song. There's something uplifting about a denouement. The song models something of a winning judo move – it urges its listeners to take the hate, pain and rejection they have received and turn it into motivation to make something of their lives. It follows in the footsteps of such break up songs as 'Take a Bow' by Rhianna, 'What doesn't kill you makes you Stronger' by Kelly Clarkson, 'You Oughta Know' by Alanis Morrisette, 'Irreplaceable' by Beyonce, and 'Forget You' by Ce-Lo Green. It seems no self-respecting global superstar can lay claim to that title without an angry break up song in their catalogue.

There have been plenty of times I have felt the pain of rejection. Relationships that have turned sour, naysayers and difficult past employers have all cruelly tortured me. And in doing so they inadvertently motivated me to prove myself. When I faced racist bullying at school it drove me to my desk to study harder to show them that I was better than they said I was. I understand something of the positive energy that can be derived from the desire to rise above those who have hurt me. So I can relate to these lyrics from the song:

"Shout out to my ex, you're really quite the man,

You made my heart break and that made me who I am.

Here's to my ex, hey, look at me now,

Well, I, I'm all the way up

I swear you'll never bring me down.

Oh, I deleted all your pics

Then blocked your number from my phone.

Yeah yeah, you took all you could get,

But you ain't getting this love no more

'Cause now I'm living so legit.

Even though you broke my heart in two, baby.

But I snapped right back, I'm so brand new, baby.

Boy, read my lips, I'm over you, over you, uh."

Rejection and vindication are powerful images in our Bibles. Jesus himself was rejected by men, scorned by the powerful, scoffed at by passers-by even as he was hanging from a cross. But the "stone the builders rejected that became the capstone". He is vindicated by God through the resurrection. Jesus could have rightly taken great delight in his triumph over his enemies but instead he strikes a very different tone. He responds to abuse with forgiveness, betrayal with compassion and hatred with kindness. He made the way for all who are rejected to have hope of future vindication and glory with him.

It is very tempting to be motivated only to impress those who have put us down. Little Mix's song, for all its apparent empowerment, in fact suggests that those cruel rejecters are still in control, still the ones worth earning the approval of.

One old Chinese proverb says: "He who seeks vengeance must dig two graves. One for his enemy and one for himself." Vengeance, however well deserved, is ultimately destructive to us.

So I can enjoy the cathartic energy of Little Mix's floor-filling dance song. I can sympathise with their feeling of rejection. I can celebrate with them their liberation and sense of achievement. But in the end I can't shout out with them to their ex's. I believe that to be truly free of those who have pained us we need to find the grace to forgive them and hope they too can find the healing power of grace.

Dr Krish Kandiah is the founding director of Home for Good and a contributing editor to Christian Today.