Miranda: ‘You have to forgive me.’
Carrie: ‘You badger me to forgive you in three days and you won’t even consider forgiving Steve for something he did six months ago.’
Miranda: ‘It’s not the same thing.’
Carrie: ‘Its forgiveness.’
Forgiveness is an act or decision to no longer hold against someone a resentment caused by a wrongdoing, to pardon them and treat them as though it never happened. It’s hard, it’s complicated and it takes time. Forgiveness requires sacrifice, and this is never more clearly demonstrated than in the context of loving relationships. The love that Carrie and Miranda have as friends goes deeper than the wounds that separated them. And so, with Miranda’s plea for forgiveness comes reconciliation and, with their friendship restored, the two women re-examine their romantic heartaches and are able to take steps forward that they never before thought possible.
Sex and the City here touches on issues perhaps deeper than previously explored in the TV series: the real nature of love. It is not expressed in self-serving, but in self-sacrifice. It seeks happiness, security and worth, not in what we get, but in what can be mutually experienced, in trust and a deep commitment. In the end, the film also touches on the value of marriage, acknowledging the for-better-for-worse part of the vows as vital, rather than looking simply at what we receive from marriage or viewing it as a disposable excuse for a party.
Forgiving those we love most is harder than anything else because it feels as though the love that characterised the relationship is damaged. However, it is that love which allows us to take the steps forward and choose to forgive. What distinguishes real love, then, is its self-sacrificial nature displayed in forgiveness. It places the love shared as of deeper significance than the hurt experienced.
As a Christian watching this film, I could not help but think of the greatest example of self- sacrificial love ever shown. The Bible talks clearly about the person of Jesus Christ stepping down to earth from heaven and taking on himself the punishment for the things we each have done wrong, the punishment we ourselves deserve. He sacrificed his life to gain a forgiveness for us that we could never achieve ourselves, thus allowing us to be made right with God by trusting in him. And Christ’s motivation in it all? Real Love. They may not realise it but the love that Carrie and Miranda share is a reflection, albeit a pale one, of the love that Christ has for a humanity that doesn’t deserve it.
This article was first published on Damaris' Culturewatch website (www.culturewatch.org) - used with permission.
© Copyright Becca Cockram (2008)
