'I have failed,' says new Bishop at Lambeth – but I am a loved child of God

Rt Rev Tim Thornton, Bishop of Truro, is to become Bishop at Lambeth and a key adviser to the Archbishop of Canterbury, Justin Welby. This is his final address to his diocesan synod, reprinted with permission. 

'So they went out and fled from the tomb for terror and amazement had seized them and they said nothing to anyone for they were afraid' (Mark 16:8).

How can that be the end of the Gospel, the good news? Good news means not just the news that makes you smile but the Good News, the news that transforms lives and turns the world upside down. These words are supposedly the end of Mark's account of the gospel. How can that be? What an odd ending, how downbeat and how confusing. Does that in any way remind you of the Church of today – downbeat and confusing?

Tim Thornton will take up his new role as Bishop at Lambeth in SeptemberLambeth Palace

A frightened people running away from a place they did not understand fully and all of them made silent with anxiety and fear. They said nothing to anyone.

I am aware that this is my last address and therefore am afraid that I am in danger, as I so often have in the past, of saying nothing. Too many words trying to make too many clever points and in fact not communicating at all.

I have failed and I want to confess that, here, in this synod. I have failed in many ways in my time as bishop and I am sure you can all think of particular ways in which I have failed. The way that is foremost in my mind now is that I am all too aware that I have not communicated well what I wanted to say. I think I know what I am saying but somehow other people hear something very different.

For example, I think I have said something stern and difficult and other people think they have had an encouraging meeting. Or, I think I am being nice and pastoral, and people go away feeling they have been ticked off.

On a wider scale it is clear and you will hear this as a theme running through this synod that I have failed as your bishop in communicating some of the essential messages in the diocese. So for example, still people seem to believe there is a cupboard somewhere in Truro full of strange people whose life's work is to devise ways in which 'the diocese', whatever that is, can ask more and more, in particular more money of parishes with no explanation why or on what the money will be spent.

Or, still people believe there is a magic tree on which grow wonderful priests all of whom want to come and work in Cornwall and somehow I am preventing them from coming here.

Or again, still people believe if only we get our structures right, by which they often mean turning the clock back to a previous system, then all our problems will be solved.

Or yet again, still people believe it is all 'their' fault – insert any number of people or groups into the word 'their' – and if only 'they' (whoever they are) would recognise it then everything would be alright.

This failure of mine to communicate is not confined to myself. I suggest it is a widespread if not universal issue.

Recently bishops in the CofE were addressed by the chair of the UK Statistics Authority, Andrew Dillnot, and I am aware as I say that you will not believe a word he says because of the word 'statistic'. He showed us many graphs, one of which showed the drastic reduction there has been over the last few years in teenage pregnancies in this country. Yet it is commonly held, and many of you as I tell you this will probably believe, that there has been an explosion of teenage pregnancies in this country. Who do we believe and why, and how do we hear and why, and what news makes us change our behaviours and how do we face our deep seated fears and move to being liberated, loved children of God? O, I have failed.

So I have failed to communicate. I have not told people what I should and I have not told people what I should not.

So they went out and fled from the tomb for terror and amazement had seized them and they said nothing to anyone for they were afraid.

But how can that be since we are here today? And if the disciples really told no one, how would we know that Jesus is alive and that we are full of joy because we are an Easter people and Alleluia is our song?

At the last session of General Synod a report was debated entitled Setting God's people free. It is a long report and contains many words and many good ideas. At its heart it is calling for a shift in culture. That is, that we move away from being a Church focused on systems and structures and we move towards a Church which takes the discipleship of each and every one of us seriously. Ninety-eight per cent of the Church are lay people, and yet how much time and effort and resource do we spend on how we might equip, encourage, enable and challenge our disciples, our wonderful lay people to flourish in their discipleship! A shift of culture from clericalism to embracing and allowing to flourish the whole body of Christ.

As I say that I see I have failed again, as whatever my words, I can imagine some people are saying, 'There he goes again talking about lay people and not supporting the clergy. There he goes again asking for more and more money and he will want to appoint lots more people to work in the "centre" rather than the parishes.'

I have failed.

We have of course all failed and do so on a regular basis. It is sobering and important that we have a presentation today from the Friends of the Holy Land reminding us that the Christian churches in the home of Christianity are under persecution and more than that are also under threat of extinction. Imagine the Holy Land with no Christian Churches – unthinkable – or is it? We have failed to support them enough with our prayers, yes, and also with our presence.

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The report Setting God's people free has many recommendations and will no doubt be debated in many worthy synods and lots of words will be used in the doing thereof. The question always has to be, so what?

I have failed, and, in particular, I have failed to communicate. So what do I want to communicate?

So they went out and fled from the tomb for terror and amazement had seized them and they said nothing to anyone for they were afraid.

The first disciples didn't say nothing, they can't have done otherwise we would not be here today. The first disciples were afraid but they did not let their fear paralyse them. Their fear turned into the energy and excitement of that first Pentecost. But it did not do so straightforwardly or without problems and difficulties. They also found it difficult to communicate. The early Church was criticised for being cannibals and holding orgies because they shared the kiss of peace and ate the body and blood of Christ.

Communication is so difficult and so frustrating. Who speaks to whom? Who listens to whom? Communication begins deep inside us and so does fear and anxiety. Communication is not limited to words. In fact, as my failure proves, people do not listen to words they decide on a whole range of criteria what they think they have heard or want to hear.

What we say comes from deep within us and its causes are very hard to understand and even more difficult to challenge and change. Fear equally has deep, deep roots and a long, long history. Fear prevents things from happening, we speak of being paralysed by fear. Fear also enable things to happen. We talk about doing things that we would never otherwise consider doing because we are afraid.

Rowan Williams in his book on Mark (Meeting God in Mark) suggests that this stark and shocking ending of the Gospel makes the reader go back to the beginning and start reading it again to try and make some sense of it. That is what we all need to do over and over again.

Mark has written an account of the gospel, that is the good news. We are trying to hear it in a world in which we don't know what good news is and we speak now only of fake news. To whom do we listen, really listen? What would it take to make us change our habits, our practices, our minds? Here we are in a general election campaign and will any of the words we hear make any of us change our minds? Do we even listen to the words or have we already decided for lots of other reasons? I urge you all to vote and exercise your duty as citizens and I urge you to consider how you vote through the lens of your faith.

Which brings me to the end.

I have failed and so what do I want to encourage you to do and to hear as we meet for this synod and have the wonderful, awesome opportunity to consider how we affect the discipleship of each other. Yes, I want God's people to be set free but that will not happen through layers of meetings and acres of reports. It is intriguing to notice Setting God's people free is a document calling for culture change which results in recommendations it wants synod to debate.

I passionately believe in the good news, the radically inclusive good news, that Christ is alive. I am afraid, afraid that my weak faith and inability to communicate prevent me from standing up and shouting from the rooftops that Christ is alive. I am afraid and so I do not accept deep deep down in myself that I am a loved child of God. That in the words of the Abbot of Landevennec, who spoke to some of us this week, God believes in me. I am afraid that my life is not radically different enough to ensure others will notice and perhaps themselves discover something of the wonder, joy and challenge of the gospel, the good news.

I am afraid that we so overcomplicate the joyful relationships into which we are called as Christians that people turn away from the gospel because of the inability we display to be infected by God.

Bishop Jack Nicholls, sometime Bishop of Sheffield, when asked what he thought the prescription for putting right the wrongs of the Church was, said two things –more prayer and more parties.

I believe we need to focus on our relationship with God and our relationships with each other. In doing so we have to begin and continue asking the very intimate, hard and complicated question of ourselves – of what are we afraid and why. Dare we allow ourselves to live our lives so that we flourish and celebrate the amazing wonder of being loved by God, accepting that God believes in me and you and knowing that Christ is alive?

'So they went out and fled from the tomb for terror and amazement had seized them and they said nothing to anyone for they were afraid.'