How the fear of man affects our relationships

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Inside every person is a certain level of need to please as many people as possible, but God delights in those who seek first His favor and pleasure. Just as Jesus said in Matthew 6:33, "But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you."

We're all probably familiar with the great King Saul and his fall from fame to infamy. Saul was a man of great promise -- chosen by God, good-looking, skilled and taller and stronger than most. But his greatest downfall was the condition of his heart because the king sought to uplift himself first before uplifting God.

On one occasion, Saul is commanded by God to carry out judgment to the Amalekites and take no produce or wealth from the land. In obedience to the needs of the people and in complete ignorance of God's command, he takes some of the finest cattle for the Israelites to consume because they asked Saul for it.

In 1 Samuel 15:24, the King Saul responds to God's judgment by saying, "I have sinned, for I have transgressed the commandment of the Lord and your words, because I feared the people and obeyed their voice."

The need to please others can become dangerous when it overtakes the need to please God. Here are three ways that it affects us.

It affects our position

We may think that being obedient to the voice and need of people will always establish authority, but there comes a point when we start becoming puppets of popularity and we act only because we need the acceptance of others.

In such cases, we are no longer in charge. We are slaves to the opinions of others. When we serve, preach, lead or coach at a level that only desires to tickle ears, we lose our authority as leaders.

It affects our relationship with God

The greatest grief disobedience bring is the grieving of our relationship with God. To please others is actually a means of idolizing the self. We would rather remain popular and accepted by others rather than be accepted by God.

The end goal of man is to grow in the context of a relationship with God. That's what we were created for. We were not created primarily for the pleasure of others, but first and foremost for the pleasure of God.

It affects our calling

As King Saul disobeyed God in this narrative for the final time, God revoked His anointing as king over the nation of Israel. God is indeed a God of second chances, but there comes a point that disobedience becomes a hindrance to God using us for His greater glory.

The good news is that God is gracious and kind, and many times He does restore callings and purposes, but we don't have to wait for the time that it is removed from us. We can protect our calling by surrendering our lives to Jesus's Lordship and allowing Him to fulfill our need of acceptance so that we don't need to look for the approval of others.

I'm not saying that we don't ask for the opinions of others nor am I saying that we should ignore other people's needs, but when these come in conflict with God's desire, we should know who is on the top of our list and who is really worth honoring.