All married men want to be happy. Their wives want them to be happy, too. Some husbands spend their time de-stressing in various ways: zoning out in front of the TV, making 18 holes at the golf club, and perhaps going out with the boys for a ball game or an hour at the gym.

While these things do make some husbands happy, there's something far better than these in making any husband happy. Are you a husband who wants to be happy? Or are you a wife who wants to make your husband happy? If you are either of the two, let me share one simple secret to you:

The secret is a happy wife.

Happy wife, happy life

There's a saying that goes, "happy wife, happy life." While that might sound weird to many, it's not. It may not be a verse in Scripture, but Scripture does say something that encompasses that idea:

"So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself." (Ephesians 5:28)

Learning to make her happiness his

Christ-following husbands ought to love their wives as Christ loved the Church. Yes, Christ did not please us by allowing us to go our own way; rather He loved us by doing what's best for us: saving us from sin and death through His sacrificial death and eventual resurrection.

Christ did not seek to please Himself. Instead, He chose to serve us and take our place on the cross. And yes, He showed us His great love that while we were still sinners, He died for us.

Such is the kind of pursuit every God-fearing husband should have. He must not look out for His own happiness first. Rather, he must learn to make his wife's joy his own. What is good, beneficial and Godly for his wife is what's good for him.

A joy fulfilled

Friends, I know this to be true. Consider what Peter said in 1 Peter 3:7,

"Likewise, you husbands, live considerately with your wives, giving honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they too are also heirs of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered."

Husbands are told to be considerate with their wives, for in doing so their "prayers will not be hindered." How? Think about it:

• If a husband treats his wife lovingly, she'd naturally return the loving treatment.
• If a husband is thoughtful and make efforts to make his wife feel secure about him and be faithful to their marriage, she'd be less doubtful and more trusting of her husband.
• If a husband faithfully leads his wife in matters of God, she'll likely see his leadership and find it easier and more enjoyable to submit to him. Not to mention that they'll pray together more often.

Do it guys

Fellow husbands, I encourage you to set aside your personal happiness and train yourself to make your wife's happiness and welfare your joy. It's a selfless act of love, something that we committed to do when we married our respective wives. It's not about worshipping your wife. It's about loving your wife in obedience to God.

A note to wives

Dear sisters, I wrote this to encourage the guys to love you better. Help your husband work for your happiness by being a loving wife as well. 1 Peter 3:1-2 tells all wives to strive to live a pure and reverent life, something all husbands will honour. Go!