When looking for a new relationship, people normally have a certain criteria for their dream partner. But Pastor Andy Stanley said that this should not be the case and that people should stop focusing on what they want in a partner and instead think of ways they can improve themselves.

"Are you the person the person you're looking for is looking for?" he asked in a video segment entitled The New Rules for Love, Sex and Dating: The Right Person Myth.

Stanley explained that the journey towards finding the right relationship often gets messed up because of people's misconceptions.

"The key to 'happily ever after' might be different than what we thought," he said. "You are meant for relationship. But the key to relationship isn't finding the right person. It's becoming the right person."

He added that every relationship has an opportunity to grow, and it all depends on how two people work on themselves first before deciding to get together.

"Every relationship is an opportunity to practice becoming the person you're looking for is looking for," stressed Stanley.

He said that many individuals with problems get married and bring their baggage into the relationship. Because of this, when things go wrong they blame their marriage and fail to realise that they brought the problem into the marriage in the first place.

Stanley is pointing to the "right person myth" as a factor in this. He said that the myth makes people believe that if they meet or marry the right person, then everything will be all right. But nothing could be further from the truth.

People with problems who jump into a relationship only end up creating more problems, he warned. But if people only realise that the key in having the right relationship lies in their personal growth, then he believes it would be a "total gamechanger."