The great commission Jesus gives to all who follow Him is to make disciples. But sometimes when we attempt to turn people into disciples, they show little or no willingness to reach out to Christ. When do we know when it's time to give up on these people who don't seem to want to follow Jesus?

Discipleship is simple, but it can be extremely hard. Many times when we mentor and teach believers, they can get stubborn and difficult. They run back to sin when faith gets hard. They refuse to accept rebuke, or sometimes they seem unwilling even to receive the message of the Gospel. This can get very frustrating for someone who is trying to develop the zeal to become a fisher of men.

However, one root source of difficulty in discipleship comes not on the side of the people we reach out, but actually in our hearts. Many people who obey God's call to make disciples find themselves stuck in a cycle of two misconceptions.

First misconception we usually have is that they are our disciples when they are really disciples of Jesus. In Matthew 28:20, Jesus instructs us to teach disciples everything He commanded us, not what we command others. When we think of it this way, we fall under the false notion that transformation and reconciliation have more to do with our teaching, our rebuke, our strength and our gifts more than the movement of the Holy Spirit in a person's life and the compassion Jesus has for the lost.

It's not up to us to change and affect the lives of people. We are simply the channels of God's grace.

The second misconception many disciple-making believers have is that discipleship is about following a programme, when the truth is Jesus never gives us a programme or format to discipleship. That's because discipleship has very little to do with programmes and has everything to do with relationship. Acts 2:46 describes the early church as this: "And day by day, attending the temple together and breaking bread in their homes, they received their food with glad and generous hearts."

While there is a place to teach and obey God's laws, it is always first and foremost in the context of a relationship with others.

When is it time to stop pursuing disciples who are difficult? In the context of these two misconceptions, today is the time to stop pursuing disciples. We must stop pursuing them as if their salvation was up to us, praying more for the movement of the Holy Spirit in their lives. We must also stop pursuing them in the context of a church programme and more in a Christ-centred relationship.

We learn this best from Jesus Christ. He pursues us relentlessly no matter how difficult and stubborn we can be, loving us and showering His grace upon us but never forcing Himself upon us, waiting only for the time that we turn back to Him when we realise our greatest need is Him.