Churches can give refuge to domestic violence victims, says counsellor
Posted: Thursday, April 3, 2008, 10:20 (BST)
Victims of domestic violence or abuse normally feel ashamed and responsible for what is happening to them and the church can make a real difference in society by providing a safe, non-judgemental environment where victims can share in confidence, says counsellor and life-skills coach Joanne Robinson.
Churches are being challenged to consider whether they may add to the fear of feeling guilty or being judged when a victim first approaches the church for help, and whether the use of Scripture can be misinterpreted by a victim at a time when they are emotionally vulnerable.
In her article in this month's FaithAction magazine, Robinson makes a plea for churches to consider how they can become places of sanctuary and support for the hundreds of thousands of people caught up in psychological, sexual or financial violence or abuse in domestic households in the UK.
"The perpetrator usually has a pattern of coercing or controlling behaviour towards someone in an intimate or family-type relationship," she writes. "How this affects the church, depends on how aware the church is about the problem and what they are actively doing to help their own church members and wider communities."
She says if victims know that the church is a safe place where abuse is not tolerated, denied or silenced and somewhere they have support systems in place for dealing with the problem, they may be more willing to break the wall of silence and come forward for help.
Robinson, who herself spent many years coming from what she describes as "a violent household" also pleas for long-term support, including setting up a support and accountability group to which the victim can relate once they have removed themselves from further assault and attack.
Have your say on this article
The comments below are readers' personal opinions and are in no way intended to reflect the editorial opinion of Christian Today.
Added: Friday, April 4, 2008, 2:12 (BST)
Greetings Robinson in Christ Name.
Thank you very much for your Courages Voice that DARE to Write so that Churches be AWAKEN and AWARE..
May ALL Churches World Wide be AWAKEN.
For DOMESTIC HORRENDOUS ABUSED VICTlMS like us..
Will be of GREAT and LONG TERM of HELP be it..
Moral , Spiritual ,Finances or Hands on etc ,etc..
Personally l was ABUSED after 2 MONTHS of my marriage at the age of 35 years old...
As an Asian Chinese it was the Norm..be QUIET ,Do Not TALK about it lol ..What can be Done ,you're ALREADY MARRIED..
ln Church Counselling -PRAY and FAST..
lt was 10 Years over of HORRENDOUS ABUSES- EMOITIONAL ,VERBAL ,SEXUAL ,PHYSICAL ,FINANCIAL..
That l was SET FREE by the WORD of GOD since 2004..
NO AMOUNT of ANY THINGS can CHANGED a PERSON UNLESS he MAKES a CHOICE and HUMBLE in God's and
Family that he has SINS.
Only ,then HELP of ALL lMPOSSIBILITY can be POSSIBILITY.
ALLELUIA and PRAISE the LORD FOREVERMORE !!
My lovely daughter ,Evelynn of 10 years is with me and we have MOVED 14 TIMES from Kuala Lumpur ,Malaysia to Singapore.
We Relocated to Johore Baru in May 2006 which is 30 mins to S'pore as we attends church too.
We have come to Singapore since 3 weeks ago and l'm going for lnterviews ???
Hoping to put Evelynn to school in Singapore which will be very Costly but ..
We Wanted too as ALL SUBJECTS will be in ENGLISH..
She LOVE to READ Books in English for HOURS !!
ln 2005 she told me that God has call her to be a Missionary..
What the Church as BODY of CHRIST NEEDS to HELPS VICTMS like us...
EMPATHISE with us which AINT COSTLY $$$ at ALL.
Ears to our Heart Cries of HORRENDOUS ABUSES.
Earn out TRUST that you're REALLY for us not JUDGES..
Then only REACH OUT to us as what the Bible says..
lf we're Hungry PLEASE FEED us..
lf we're Homeless PLEASE SHELTER us..
lf we're ln Any Needs PLEASE DONT BE JUDGEMENTAL..
ln All Circumstances l give THANKS to my ALMIGHTY and AWESOME LORD and SAVIOR..
PLEASE ...l'm glad for anyone to contact me..
Thank you
BLESSING
bernadette tong, malaysia
