So as you try to keep the sheep together, here are five principles to keep in mind.
1. Maintain an attitude of acceptance. Don’t major in minors. Don’t insist that everybody agree on every minor detail. Some topics are disputable. Paul tells us this in Romans 14:1-23. He gives an example of food and tells readers not to let food preferences get between them and other believers. He tells believers to maintain an attitude of acceptance.
Aren’t you glad we’re not all alike? God loves variety. When conflict breaks out at your church, your first task is to figure out if it’s over a disputable issue or an essential. If it’s essential, deal with it. If it’s not, then you need to lead the people involved to accept one another’s differences.
We tell all of our new members in Class 101 that we strive for unity in the essentials and freedom in the non-essentials. It helps people see from the beginning that we value acceptance at our church.
2. Focus on your common purpose. What unites a church more than anything else is a common purpose. That’s why we insist that everyone who joins Saddleback go through our membership class. That’s where we lay out the purpose of our church. We want people to know where we are going before they get on board. Your church isn’t the only game in town. More than likely there are other good, Bible-believing churches that employ different styles in your community. Tell people what your church is about so they can decide from the beginning if it’s something they want to join in on. It’ll save you a lot of potential disunity later.
3. Control your tongue. As a pastor, whenever anyone comes to us with gossip, we need to stop it before it starts. We also need to make sure the other leaders of the church do the same thing. The Bible makes it clear that gossip is a sin. When you listen to it, you become a partner in that sin. Ephesians 4:29 says, "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen."
What is gossip? Gossip is when you’re sharing a problem or criticism with someone who is neither part of the problem or part of the solution. If they’re part of the problem or solution, then it’s legitimate to share it with them. Otherwise, leave it alone. We need to preach on this from the pulpit and continually remind our leadership about it. It’s that important.
4. Teach your church to support the leadership. Hebrews 13:17 says, "Obey your leaders and submit to their authority. They keep watch over you as men who must give an account. Obey them so that their work will be a joy, not a burden, for that would be of no advantage to you."
